In which Deb Kristina’s character makes an arse of himself

coverI was inspired by this week’s topic (“What’s your sign?”) to write a snippet for my upcoming novel. Not to go in the novel obviously. The time for that has come and gone, and anyway, this scene isn’t critical to the plot, in fact, wouldn’t even take place in the timeframe of REAL LIFE & LIARS, which covers only three days. Consider this a literary DVD extra, if you will, just for our beloved Deb Ball readers.

This is from the point of view of Ivan, known as Van, the middle Zielinski child who is a hopeless romantic in the sense that he’s hopeless at romance. This takes place, of course, in a bar.

———–

Ivan hovered near her, barely entering her airspace, waiting for that one magic moment when she would neither be shielded by a phalanx of other pretty girls, nor targeted by another guy.

That moment came too soon and his feet were pulling him across the bar while his brain scrambled his neurons for an emergency introductory line. He tugged on his earlobe and bit his lip. I call myself a songwriter, he thought. And I can’t think of a single …

He was in front of her. Van swallowed down what felt like a billiard ball in his throat. She was too pretty for him. He’d sensed it before and knew it absolutely now. She was a breathtaking, classic beauty, who should be tearfully clutching an Oscar statue or turning her profile to the camera in designer clothes.

She’d watched his approach, regarding him with a wry smile that seemed to say, “Dude, you’re crashing already” only girls don’t say “dude” do they? he wondered, and while he was wondering this his mouth fired off with, “What’s your sign?”

He flinched.

And she laughed.

Van didn’t linger to see if she was laughing with mirth or meanness. He retreated to his own dark corner, and sipped his warm, fizzless beer.

———–

Hope you liked your sneak peek into the mind of Ivan.

Deb Kristina

12 thoughts on “In which Deb Kristina’s character makes an arse of himself

  1. Ooh, a little something-something straight out of the mind of Deb Kristina!

    Van sounds like a guy I’m going to want to give a good shake to every once in a while. I guess I’ll have to read the book and find out!

  2. Ouch! I always felt a bit bad for boys in high school–they had to do all the asking while the girls could sit in a group in giggle. I wonder if it’s gotten any better these days.

    Looking forward to reading the book!

  3. IF ONLY Van had laughed too and shrugged “the line” off as a joke. Yet it seems he lacks the confidence for this and you already have me wondering “why?” Thanks for the tease, Kristina! 😉

  4. Katie, yes, he DOES need a good shake, I agree! He’ll get one, of a sort.

    Meredith, I also wonder if it’s easier for guys these days. I suppose e-mailing makes flirting easier!

    Tiffany, well, I’ll say this much about Van’s fate: no one is the same by the time the book is over!

    Larramie, you’re not kidding about “if only.” To novelists and other bystanders, the correct course of action is so obvious. To those in the thick of it, it’s never so clear. Confidence is definitely not his strong suit.

    Thanks, Eve. Can you tell I couldn’t find anything compelling to say about being a Scorpio?

  5. Interesting take…Reminds me of my middle school insecurity days…

    I Like Van, I hate the model, but those are the emotions I’m scripted to have aren’t they…Internal monolog is nice, Pretty girls don’t say “dude” or has van picked up a subconscious clue you plan on springing on us later in a more Shocking fashion…Sex Changed Model? Deep teaser..

    Doc

  6. You’re right, Doc, (most) girls DON’T say dude, which just goes to show that Van’s brain is scrambling and he’s not thinking clearly at this moment!

    Thanks for coming over to say hello!

  7. Clearly Ivan is at a strong disadvantage here. Low social IQ. I once had a psycology major roommate (Mike) who could read women’s minds. It was uncanny–he could always say what they wanted to hear (almost). But even if she wanted to meet Van–Ms. Gorgeous suffers under the timeless socialization of generations of mothers. She has to wait for him to approach her. Perhaps under Van’s klutz is another Bill Gates. No doubt Belinda was very astute–perceptive even.

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