Deb Kelly does feel guilty. As well she should.
The last two days much has been said about guilty pleasures. Specifically, if we should actually feel guilty about them. Does eating whipped cream out of the can warrant feeling guilty? (Answer: well, for pete’s sake you should put it on some pie first. Think of the pie!) What about slipping off to dreamland in the middle of a busy day? (Answer: heck no. I have napped three times in the writing of this blog post alone. You’re welcome to do so too. I’ll still be here when you wake up.)
But now I am going to tell you about a pleasure that actually makes me feel truly guilty. Because it is evil, and wrong, and inherently bad, and because I cannot resist it.
In case you haven’t already guessed, I am talking about
TACO BELL
For those of you who don’t eat there, aka, people with a healthy sense of self preservation, Taco Bell is a mildly vile fast food restaurant that takes seven processed food items and combines them in various incarnations to result in hundreds of menu choices, most with the words “loco” in their name. The items are:
Vague Beef
Vague Cheese
Nacho Cheez (not close enough to actual cheese to be spelled properly)
Salad Slurry
Hot Sauce
Sour Cream
Tortillas
And what I order is all seven of these things, plus refried beans, in a glorious hand-held mishmash called a
CRUNCHWRAP SUPREME
If you have never had a crunchwrap supreme before, please do not go have one now, no matter how delicious it may sound (it is delicious). If you do your life will never be the same. Friends, the Crunchwrap Supreme is not a gateway drug of the fast food world. It is straight rock cocaine. It is so crunchy, so wrappy, so supreme-ly tasty that you will have to eat it periodically for the rest of your life which will be significantly shorter as a result. It is bad for you. It is made with questionable ingredients. It makes you gain weight. It costs actual money, money you may wish you had later to buy an in-home defibrillator. And it tastes so, so good.
That, my friends, is a truly guilty pleasure.
And chances are good I’m going to have to go eat one now.
Your turn. Everyone who fesses up about their fast food guilty secret pleasure in the comments wins my undying respect. And don’t say “I don’t eat fast food.” If you are reading this in America, you have had fast food. CONFESS! The truth will set you free. But not from Crunchwrap Supremes. Only death can free you from their powerful hold.
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