We’re introducing ourselves this week, and what better way to do that than with the aid of a skilled journalistic interviewer?
Unfortunately, I don’t know any.
But I do know myself, and worked as a reporter back before I lost my lust for long hours and lousy pay.
Behold, I give you my interview with…well, me.
Tawna: Tell me a bit about yourself.
Tawna: I was born in a space shuttle on Uranus—
Tawna: Don’t start with the anus jokes, this is a family-friendly blog. Besides, you can’t just make stuff up.
Tawna: I can’t tell dirty jokes and I can’t make stuff up? You just negated my whole writing career.
Tawna: (heavy sigh) which is what?
Tawna: Funny smut – also known as romantic comedy. My debut is called MAKING WAVES, and it’s a sort of modern parody on the pirate romance cliché. Sourcebooks is releasing it next August as the first in a trio of romantic comedies centered around the notion that normal is nice, but weird is wonderful. It’s kind of my motto.
Tawna: Why doesn’t that surprise me? Let’s talk about something more appropriate. Tell me about your likes and dislikes.
Tawna: (holds up glass) I like good wine, world travel, hiking, biking, kayaking, yoga – pretty much any athletic pursuit that doesn’t involve jostling. I dislike being jostled. I also dislike shopping carts, mushrooms, morning breath, and men who can’t drive a stick shift.
Tawna: Men? Is there a man in your life?
Tawna: Oh yes – my husband, Pythagoras. I married him at halftime at a Portland Trail Blazer game 12 years ago. We said “I do” in front of 21,000 screaming fans who did not bring gifts.
Tawna: Wow, so you must’ve been engaged a long time?
Tawna: Totally! They called a week before the wedding and told me we’d been picked, so I turned to Pythagoras and said, “We just won a wedding, want to get married?” He said “To you? Sure, I guess,” and we were engaged! It was very romantic.
Tawna: I see. And you write…uh, romance?
Tawna: Yes.
Tawna: This could be a problem.
Tawna: (smiling) Want a drink?
***
So I think that went well, how about you? Hey – where did you all go? Hello? Anyone?
In all seriousness (right, like that’s my thing) I welcome you to this new season of the Debutante Ball. I’m thrilled to be a part of this amazing community and to rub shoulders with writers who are infinitely cooler than I am.
Did I miss any questions? Something I forgot to ask myself that you wanted to know? Leave them in the comments with a good bottle of Sangiovese. I’ll be more inclined to answer that way.
As my daughter will be the first to tell you, “Uranus is a big ball of gas.”
So happy to be Debbing with you… and with you. I am all kinds of ready to grab your book of funny smut, an inappropriately large bottle of wine, and laugh my ARRRRRse off!
(Heavy pirate accent. ARRRRse. Good stuff.)
And you can Photoshop? That’s an impressive skill set. Here’s to a great year. Deb Kim
I love a debutante who knows how to hold her liquor.
And talk to herself.
Which… come to think of it…
Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Ha! Love it. I think my Fridays just got a whole lot more entertaining. 🙂
We’ll try not to jostle you as we rub shoulders.
Your books sound so fun! I can’t wait!
a double dose of tawna? yes, please.
*holds up glass of Malbec* CHEERS!
Double dose of Tawna-one more reason to love Fridays!! Looks like a great group and should be a fun year.
SOOO funny! So glad you don’t take yourself too seriously, too.
With you on the jostling, too.
Now that I’m the retired Friday Deb, pass me that bottle of wine. Congrats on your Deb Debut and carry that Friday torch proudly!
Now I’m looking forward to your book more than ever! (And thank you for the great laugh on Mammogram Day!)
ROFL at the image of you as an uptight librarian/secretary/reporter — whatever incarnation you are in that pencil skirt and hair bun!
Abby and Michelle are right! Now I can say TFIDDTF! (That’s Thank Goodness It’s Double-Dose-Tawna Friday!)
Congratulations on being a Debutante! Hilarious, as always! P.S. You both look so familiar, do I know you?
Loved it Tawna!
Excellent. I also hate being jostled. It’s good to know this about you. I look forward to stopping by every Friday, Tawna.
I’m ready to braid your hair.
Hilarious! But where are the razor clams?
The more blog posts of yours that I read, the more I can’t wait for Making Waves to come out.
Brilliant! So glad I’ll get to start my Fridays with a laugh from now on!
That was a great interview! lol Your wedding story is one of the best. EVER. It always makes me smile to read about it.
Drink…I mean, write on!
Fun post and get to know you interview.
What is to dislike about shopping carts? They carry so much stuff! You aren’t scared of a little grime on the handle are you?
You really rock that whole “talking to one’s self” thing. 🙂 Can’t wait to read these books – a girl needs more funny in her day.
Have to than Janet Reid for turning me on to this. Laughing. Brilliant. Way to turn interviews around!
Wow! It’s wonderful to see so many regulars from my normal blog, as well as so many new faces. Thank you for making me feel so welcome! You guys rock!
Tawna
Love that picture! LOVE! And this is the perfect introduction to your personality. Don’t ever try to be anything other than you, Tawna. B/c you works! 😉
Discovered your excellent blog off a link from Janet Reid’s blog (and then again through the RCRW loop). I got taste of what I’m in for when your book comes out … delicious fun! Can’t wait. I’m not a wine drinker, but as a fellow Oregonian, I humbly leave you a virtual bottle of Ninkasi.
As a past Friday deb to a new- welcome aboard. Plus you like romantic smut. And wine! We’re going to get along great.
Fridays, at the Deb Ball, have always be known for FUN…..however, Tawana, you’ve taken clever good humor to a whole other level. Hmmm, could it be outer space? 😀
Already a reader of “Don’t Pet Me” but I’m hopping into the comments for a +1 count so you see me lurking. Hi!
FANTASTIC! I needed a laugh, although I’m not sure what was funnier, that picture or the interview. *snicker*
Okay, loving wine and smut is great, but what woman of sense DOESN’T love wine and smut? Disliking mushrooms, now — THAT is genius. From one fungi-phobe to another, salut! Can’t wait to read more.
Double Drunken Debs! Maybe? Don’t know. Congrats again, and I’m excited about the double dose of Tawna Fridays. Yay!
That picture! Ha!
Thanks for the laugh Tawna and nice photoshop job.
Hi, Tawna! Hilarious post! Sounds like it will be a fun year. 🙂
Hi Tawna,
Congratulations on your debut book! I like a fun romantic comedy and especially one with a pirate in it. Looking forward to reading it.
Hilarious! I’m really looking forward to your book. I always love a pirate!
“The Two Faces of Tawna”. Maybe it could the title for your autobiography…. Looking forward to your debut novel!!!
Very nicely done! And Yay Twins ;-P
What sort of Sangiovese?
I thought you got a little vexed with yourself during the interview, but you did well hiding it from yourself.
I was howling with laughter right from the start because of that photo. Hey, hold on. Is that your ‘naughty librarian’ outfit?? BTW… wine-loving Tawna’s bottle look suspiciously empty in that picture… 😉
Loving your writing, you give an unpub’ed, wishful, hopeful writer a heartfluttering glimpse at the dreamful potintial one can reach. I am amazed at your talent and intrigued, and you still have your whole career ahead of you. Wow. From a RCRW friend.
The librarian has definite potential if she hangs out with funny smut woman. 🙂 LOVE the pic and the interview. I must admit this is my first introduction to you and your writing. Now I HAVE to buy your book. Great job and I hope you sell millions.
OMG, you are so funny. I’m a long-distance RCRW member, and I just wish I had a chance to meet you. Congratulations on being a debutante – and I want to read your book!!
Wonderful interview, Tawna. I do believe that interviewer was wayyy too tough on you. You ought to send her smutty books. Then it’s a win-win, right? I mean, all the books added to your library, after all. 🙂
I can’t wait for your book! I do b’lieve you’d be tons of fun to hang out with.
Tawna, I’m just catching up from being away on vacation and seeing this post now–laughing my head off! Love, love, love the Tawna interviewed by Tawna. You crack me up, my dear. Thanks for the smiles! xoxo
LMAO, Tawna! I can see Fridays are going to be exciting this year!
Tawna,
Hilarious, as always. Good job! I see only good things coming your way!
Nancy