Hi all! I had a baby six weeks ago, and ever since, life has been one wild ride. Sweet and cuddle-filled, yes, but I’ll be honest: With three boys under the age of four, I’ve never been more exhausted, more sleep-deprived, more overwhelmed than at any other time in my life. I’m so overloaded, that I’ve found myself questioning everything—like how I’m going to keep up with my magazine projects, blogging, all of it. Can I do all of this? Can I do all of this well?
The other night after a long day, I found myself complaining to my husband about how frustrated I was that I didn’t have time to get to half the things I wanted to that day. I moped about the messy house, the unanswered emails, the fact that we had to order pizza, again, (whole wheat crust with lots of veggies, but still!). I actually found myself longing for the days when my kids are older and more self sufficient. And here’s the thing, in my exhaustion, I actually didn’t feel very lucky at all. I felt spent. That’s when dear ol’ hubby set me straight, reminding me to focus on the things I’ll miss most when looking back to this time in my life. No, I certainly won’t be yearning for the days of feeding a fussy baby 4-5 times a night or waking up at 5 a.m. with a sick toddler. But, I will long for the cuddles, the smooches on soft, chubby baby cheeks, the goofy declarations from my 4 year old (“Mama, did you know that dogs talk in their sleep?”) and maybe even all of the busyness with my work. After all, I thrive on that (secretly). I love the steady stream of assignments, the blog posts, the novels I chip away at in the evenings. And when I think about all of these things, the icky stuff fades into the distance and I do feel very lucky, and very blessed.
Funny how looking at things from a slightly different perspective can make you feel like a million bucks even when going through a challenging time in life, huh?
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