Happy July 4th!! And my New Year’s Resolutions FLOP

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

I hope you all are having an awesome day of rest and reading. Unfortunately for me, it is a day of guilt and shame because the topic of the week involves a New Year’s resolutions check-in, and I’m not feeling too good about my performance six months in.

I made only four, count ’em four, very MODERATE New Year’s Resolutions this year, and my score is two for four. That’s 50% – which means I’m failing. So what went wrong? Here are the four resolutions I made and the excuses I have for why they’re not being met.

1. Exercise like KJ Dell’Antonia: KJ wrote an awesome piece about her running regime called “The Workout I Actually Do,” perfect for people like me who hate running. So here is the workout: Run for 3 minutes and then walk for 1 minute, 4 times. That’s it. It’s a sixteen minute workout, with about a mile of running total.

Yeah… no. I am not succeeding at this very reasonable exercise program. However, just last week I started exercising again. I have a new plan: I take the stairs up to my apartment two or three times every day. And before you judge me for being super lazy, please hear this: I live on the 29th floor of my building. So I walk up 29 floors two, sometimes three, times every day. It’s not much, but it’s a start. Meanwhile, I will also try to get on board with KJ’s program. I really mean it.

2. Drink like Matthew Griffin, author of HIDE, who says he resolves “to drink less. Or maybe more. Let’s just see how the year goes.” 

Yes, I’m accomplishing this one! I’m drinking sometimes less and sometimes more this year, depending on how things are going. Way to go, me!

3. Dress like author Anne Lamott who wrote a few years ago to “wear forgiving pants. The world is too hard as it is, without letting your pants have an opinion on how you are doing.” As Anne explained, it’s important to “make sure to wear pants that do not hurt our thighs or our feelings.” 

This one is a total win for Team Amy. I have been wearing almost exclusively stretchy exercise pants since January (in spite of not exercising), and my feelings are in tact.

4. Watch more TV shows like Jill Kargman, author of SPRINKLE GLITTER ON MY GRAVE. Jill said last year, “My New Year’s resolution is to watch more TV. I’m so behind, and my friends are getting annoyed at me for not seeing #!@$! yet.”

Sorry, Jill kargman. I am SO far behind on my shows, it’s pathetic. I had a good start, binge-watching The Crown. But somehow, I got off target and flopped in the tv department. I will work harder over the next six months. I’m planning to start with The Affair. I hear it is amazing and extremely engaging. And meanwhile, I’m open to recommendations!

Plenty of time to still score four out of four on my resolutions this year, so wish me luck! It will involve more exercise and more tv, which fortunately go quite well together on an elliptical. I hope the rest of you are doing a better job that I am!

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Amy Poeppel grew up in Dallas, Texas and left the south to attend Wellesley College. Since then, she has worked as an actor, a high school English teacher, and most recently as the Assistant Director of Admissions at a school in New York City. Her three fabulous boys are all off in Boston attending school, and she and her husband now split their time between New York and Frankfurt, Germany. A theatrical version of SMALL ADMISSIONS was workshopped at the Actors Studio Playwrights/Directors Unit. She later expanded it into her first novel.