Oh, they say when you marry in June… by Deb Katie

I always wanted to be a June bride. I don’t know why. Maybe it was the song from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers… maybe it was an incredibly fun family wedding one June that struck me as simply perfect. Maybe it’s society’s fault. But regardless of the reason, when I started thinking about marrying my husband (before he was in on the plans, actually), I wanted a June wedding. I even knew the exact date I wanted—06/07/03 (I loved how it sounded: “oh six oh seven oh three”).

We got engaged in December of 2001. A summer ’02 wedding was out of the question, because another family member was planning his own nuptials for that time. I couldn’t bear the thought of waiting a year and a half. So, based on the extremely romantic premise of “venue availability,” it was settled: I would be an October bride.

The funny thing is, I don’t like June. I don’t like summer. And I love autumn with a passion that burns as hot and bright as a California wildfire.

I certainly didn’t settle into any kind of gloom over the whole thing. I planned my October wedding and got married outside on a beautiful Georgia evening, relying on a bride’s luck to skirt the rainstorms that had been soaking Atlanta for a week and a half.

It didn’t occur to us, at the time, that our wedding date—October 26—was anything other than a perfectly normal date. I mean, sure, we kind of knew that several of our guests were bravely foregoing game 7 (!!!) of the World Series to usher us into married life. And we knew Halloween would hit while we were on our honeymoon, so I packed my devil horns to wear to dinner on the cruise.

But only in the years since has it really sunk in:

For an entire lifetime of anniversaries, we are completely at the mercy of Halloween.

Once we have kids, we will no doubt celebrate our anniversary by carving pumpkins and making a mad dash to the store to buy costumes (unless my kids want to dress up as quilts, in which case I have them covered). Even until then, taking a weekend to go out of town or going out to dinner on a Friday or Saturday night means we miss the good parties—and I mean the really good parties. The kind that spawn inside jokes that have swirled around our ignorant heads for years now.

I should have suspected. After all, my birthday is constantly being batted around by another major holiday. But in all the rush to book a date, I didn’t think twice.

And it’s actually all right. Because someday, when we do have kids, we can drop them off at a friend’s Halloween party and sneak in a romantic dinner. And when we’re sitting around pulling the guts out of pumpkins, trying to keep children and dog from surreptitiously eating the seeds, we can smile and know that all of this was born from one non-rainy October evening.

They say when you marry in June, you’re a bride all your life. When you marry in October, you’re a bride for just the one day.

But you get to be a wife forever. And that works for me.

~ Deb Katie

PS – We’re still celebrating the launch of Cancer is a Bitch, by 2008 Deb Gail Konop Baker! Don’t forget to check out our contests page and enter for a chance to win a signed copy.

18 thoughts on “Oh, they say when you marry in June… by Deb Katie

  1. That is a stunning photo! You made a beautiful bride whatever the month.

    We just got invited to a Halloween wedding. ON Halloween. We can’t go because it’s several states away, but even so, to have to give up Trick or Treat with our little ones — especially our littlest, for whom this is her first Halloween walking under her own steam… I doubt we would have made it.

    It’s always something, though. My own anniversary often falls on Mother’s Day and restaurants are always jam-packed with prom kids.

  2. Katie, I love how you use the word “dinner” as code for, well, you know, sprinkled throughout your article. It’s okay, we’re all adults here. I see, devil horns to wear to “dinner”, riiiight. You naughty girl. ;D

    And what are you and husb waiting for. My wife and I were married in ’02 and we’ve got a 5, 4, and 2 year old… Actually, maybe waiting a bit is a little more relaxing now that I think about it.

    I agree, beautiful pic! But why do brides get all the attention anyway? Us grooms aren’t chopped liver you know…

  3. Thanks, Kristina! You’re right, it’s always something. If it had been June, we’d be beset by graduations, Father’s Day, and of course Flag Day.

    Jason, LOL! And wow, three kids since 2002? And you manage to get some writing done? Impressive! We’re waiting for a colorful variety of reasons. But we’ll see those little buggers around here before too many more years pass. In the meantime, I have Winston.

  4. I got married on July 4th weekend–on purpose! Lucky for us, it wasn’t 99 degrees (as it so often is in Virginia) but just 75, and the hurricane waited until the following weekend to blow through. But now my anniversary will always be associated with the birthday of our nation, and the colors red, white and blue.

    You’re right, though, that the wedding is not and should never be more important than the marriage–which we all hope lasts and lasts and lasts.

  5. You’ll always get fireworks for your anniversary! Neat.

    The year I got married was just post-9/11 and there were several wedding dresses on the market that were actual representations of American flags. So I can imagine that there were lots of excitingly-bedecked brides sharing your anniversary that year!

  6. I wanted a fall wedding- but due to circumstances ended up as a June bride. I am glad to see you avoided the desire to do a zombie/vampire themed wedding.

  7. Eileen, see? The grass is always greener.

    And (LOL), yes, somehow I suppressed the urge to go with a gothic/horror-themed wedding. It’s a good thing we don’t plan our weddings when we’re 16, though, because that’s probably what I would have ended up with!

  8. Tut-tut, I totally agree. And this makes me feel crazier than ever for my irrational “June bride” bias. I mean, seriously! I hate summer! Why would I want to get married in the summer?

    *shaking fist at sky* Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, you turned me crazy!

  9. Gorgeous post and gorgeous picture, Katie.

    I was a June bride – not really planning it that way. The month didn’t mean anything to me, but we wanted it outdoors and in upstate NY and we figured June gave us a good shot at nice weather. Wasn’t the last laugh on us when the week of our wedding a record heat wave hit Oneonta, NY and it was 99 degrees on the day of our wedding!!!! We all sweated and laughed and had a great time anyway!

  10. Eve, a good friend of mine got married in Pittsburgh in late April…and we drove to his wedding in a blizzard. And home from his wedding two days later, in a new blizzard.

    Katie, you’re cracking me up with “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, you turned me crazy!”

  11. Ahem … as a rule, I only dance on tables when it’s over 90 degrees … or there’s a hurricane … or a civil war … or to celebrate my release from jail … y’know those special occasions!

  12. Oh what an awesome picture…and great wedding story.
    Eve, what prompted us to get on the table…I seem to remember it was your idea…!!!

  13. lol… so true, katie

    we got married new year’s eve, just so we could start the new year off with a bang! :O

    good, while it lasted…

    now divorced, and the three kids are in their 20s

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