This time of year I face an age old moral dilemma, one I like to think of as The Candy Crisis. In order to identify your own moral failings- I provide you with this quiz. There is no scoring, as that would take me too long to figure out. You want a quiz with scores go buy yourself a Cosmo magazine.
a) buy Halloween candy now in an effort to be organized and have to see it laying there, tempting you until you consume it all in a flurry of torn wrappers and chocolate smears?
b) wait to buy the candy until the day before Halloween and risk having to give away chocolate covered turnips because all the good candy is picked over?
When selecting candy, do you:
a) buy stuff you like and risk having to hand out saltine crackers because you ate it all?
b) buy some form of chocolate that you despise even though if you grow desperate you may lick the offending chocolate?
Are you the one in the neighborhood who:
a) gives away high end name brand candy?
b) gives away the cheap candy made from pressed chalk dust and sugar?
c) gives away pennies wrapped up in foil because you ate all the candy?
d) gives away something good for you like raisins which makes kids want to egg your house and not with the organic free range eggs either?
If you give away a healthy treat, do you:
a) really believe raisins are nature’s candy instead of dead grapes that fell behind the food crisper drawer?
b) have unresolved anger issues from your own childhood that makes you want to rain on the chocolate parade?
I have this theory that Halloween candy used to be better when we were kids. I’m pretty sure the mini candy bars were larger. We also rarely worried about someone trying to kill us. There were rumors that someone might stick razor blades in your apples- but that just gave us an excuse to purge the healthy snacks and go right for the chocolate. I think the candy was better too. I used to love those caramel suckers they made- Slo Pokes. I don’t think they make them anymore. Tragic really.
What was your favorite thing to get at Halloween?
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