Torture 
my husband? Never. The man’s a saint. Well, maybe there’s one tiny little thing he 
did recently that would warrant a bit of torture: He walked over to me and calmly asked, “Where do you keep the diapers?”
I wouldn’t have known how to adequately punish him had it not been for Maria’s book, 101 Ways to Torture Your Husband. Maybe it wouldn’t have been such a shocking question if our baby were a week old, rather than a YEAR old. And it’s not like the man hasn’t changed diapers before. He can practically do it one-handed. But my hubby suffers from selective vision – if something isn’t where he expects it to be, he can’t find it, even if it’s in plain sight just a shelf or a few feet over.
Instead of getting into yet another tiff, I’m turning to my favorite torture tip: Bury his remote control in the back yard. Because I have a feeling that if his beloved clicker went AWOL, he might suddenly acquire the keen senses of a bomb-sniffing dog, and be able to locate it in record time. And I could whip out that example the next time he inquires where we keep the mustard/dog food/car keys.
Or maybe I should get a massage by a male masseuse (hey, it was Maria’s idea!) You know, PURELY for the torturing cause.
Remember, this week Deb Maria is going to give away a copy of her book, 101 Ways to Torture Your Husband to one lucky commenter – be sure to check out her post tomorrow and leave a remark to enter to win! It’s a fun, sassy read that’s a perfect gift for just about any woman. Because we all know that any husband can benefit from a bit of torturing. And its tips aren’t limited to husbands – boyfriends are husbands-in-training, and it’s smart to start the torturing soon.
You can buy a copy of Maria’s book here. Happy torturing!
I think every male has selective vision – event the young ones!
Sarah, this is hilarious! Selective vision: so very true.
Watch yourselves ladies.
When my husband can tell that he’s asked, “Where is the…” one too many times in a day, he tries switching to Spanish. GRRRR!!!
No Sarah–not the remote! Then how will *you* watch television??
Greg, you are so outnumbered. Grab your clicker and retreat!
Let’s not forget selective hearing! Huh?
I haven’t had control of the remote for years and years. Has anybody seen where I put my keys? Huh? Come on, I’m in a hurry.
“But my hubby suffers from selective vision – if something isn’t where he expects it to be, he can’t find it, even if it’s in plain sight just a shelf or a few feet over.”
It’s an epidemic! What is up with that?
Maybe it’s because the ancestral Neanderthal males were hunters and could only see something if it was running at them with fangs dripping.
Are you saying only the ancestors are Neanderthals, Kristina?
Greg, you obviously like to live on the edge! hahahahaaa..
Sarah, LOVE your post.. diapers are to men what kryponite is to Superman.
Thanks again for all your support.
Well, Sarah, our advanced men can always find beer, whether or not there are dripping fangs.