After a Debutante’s debut, what tends to happen? In the old days, she probably got married off and began living a life of luxury. Today — who knows? But surely a tiara or fancy dress is involved. I guess you don’t need me to tell you that times have changed. Absolutely nothing about my own debut happened the way I expected it to. Like in most things I do, I…
A few days ago the Da Capo catalog arrived with my two-page spread, my author photo, a description of my book and a short bio and staring at it, I felt… weird. Not bad weird. Just weird. Weird that the way I imagined seeing my name and my picture in print, the “reality” of what I’d dreamed and hoped for and wanted for so long that at times I was…
I honestly couldn’t think of what to write about with the theme of Lucky or Not. My dog Lucky? Nah. I didn’t have a dog named Lucky. Lucky Charms? The marshmallows taste great, but the cereal part? Not so much. I used to eviscerate all marshmallows from the box, which left my husband and kids very displeased with me, stuck as they were with those little oaty niblets that taste…
All week I’ve been wracking my brain for something clever and/or deep to say about stereotypes. The Oppressor (aka my husband, Michael) suggested I turn it around and talk about “types of stereos” and earlier today I seriously considered haiku or possibly writing in iambic pentameter. But finally, just as I’ve run out of time and must write something, I’ve realized I could tell you about how I came to…
I have not one, but two, of the strangest publishing tales in history. It never happens like this. But it happened to me. Twice. Which means, it could happen to you. Here are my sale stories: As many of you know, Fifteen Minutes of Shame is my debut novel, but I also wrote a non-fiction dating advice book entitled Stop Getting Dumped! Bizarre Publishing Experience #1 My husband and I…
New Year’s resolutions frighten me. They have a habit of getting broken, thus undermining my belief that I can achieve legitimate, important goals and generally leaving me a self-pitying mess. But this year, I’m going to keep my New Year’s resolutions. I’m going to keep them with ease and sit back with a smile as those around me fall off their various wagons, plunge into self-hatred, depression and all-encompassing bitterness…
Was anyone else pelted with emails and TV advertisements this morning touting miracle weight loss lollypops and special monogrammed canvas bins that would magically compel your children to put away their toys? Get organized and get skinny, the lofty goals of our generation. Our great grandmothers and grandfathers are surely laughing their asses off at that one. My resolution for this year is not exactly world-changing material either, but it’s…
I’m a smart person. I’ve got not one, but two, university degrees. I watch Nova on public TV and we even have a subscription to Discover magazine (which I read despite the fact they never offer decent fashion advice or recipes). However, the list of normal everyday things I’ve never mastered is long. It includes, but is not limited to: Cartwheels: This knowledge gap showed up young. I would run…
It wasn’t until I met “Helena” at my oldest daughter’s nursery school that I thought what I wrote and the Big World of Publishing might actually converge. Of course I’d harbored fantasies: NYT’s book review, Oprah calling, the paparazzi… but until Helena, none of that really seemed within my grasp. I was a stay-at-home mom with two small children who scribbled story ideas on the edge of grocery receipts while…
We were broke: our car stalling more often than it started, my husband’s tuition and textbook bills outpacing my teacher’s salary. So I marched into WNNE-TV, the local NBC affiliate in the ramshackle building behind the old Holiday Inn in White River Junction, Vermont, and told them I wanted to be an anchor. I’d been studying the local anchors for weeks and I thought, how hard could it be? Someone…
