Halloween is my favorite holiday next to Christmas and not just because of the candy (although it’s a pretty sweet bonus). Each year I look forward to horror movie marathons, haunted houses, and ghost stories. I love the darkness the season brings. There is something about the thrill, the adrenaline rush of being scared shitless following by the beautiful relief. I wish publishing had that type of effect on me, rather than plain old terror. In three short months, ALLEGEDLY will be out in stories and I’m currently sitting in my sweatpants, watching Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2…trembling. Freddy no longer scares me. I have a more heinous monster to haunt my dreams.
My worst nightmare: failing at being an author.
Much like parenting, there is no go-to manual on how to bring a book into this world and guarantee it’s success. You write the best story you can, have it raised by a village of agents, editors, and publicists, then wait for the outcome. I have made concerted efforts to give my book it’s best chance of staying afloat in a sea of great white sharks. But every time I tackle a task or slaughter my to do list, I chronically wonder… am I doing this right? Why do other authors make it look so easy? What am I, Tiffany Jackson, the AUTHOR, supposed to being doing right now and if I’m not doing it, am I a failure?
Similar to the tense feeling of hiding in a closet hoping the psychopathic killer doesn’t find you, I live in fear of the other shoe dropping. That someone will eventually yank off my mask and scream “You’re not a real author!” But that’s the thing about horror movies, you never know what will scare the shit out of you and when. You just have to keep moving and survive, because at the end of the day, like they say, you can’t kill the boogeyman. It will stalk you, but you have to bravely overcome it… in order to make it to the sequel. 🙂
On that note…enjoy one of my favorite scenes from Halloween (1978) directed by John Carpenter, one of my favorite directors.
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