MWF Seeking BFF Launch week continues with Deb Erika’s Q & A with Deb Rachel!

MWF Seeking BFF, by Rachel BertscheMy good friend in college and I loved Carly Simon—we STILL do—and whenever we’d hear a Carly song on the radio, any one of her many spot-on tributes to the emotional landslides that invariably befall us all, my friend and I would turn to one another and say with unabashed reverence: “Carly knows.”

Well, after reading MWF SEEKING BFF, I can now say the same for Deb Rachel in the matter of trying to make friends in our adult years.

The woman knows.

It’s not easy to find that special someone—not even close! And making matters worse, this is not your mother’s tupperware party. Just ask Rachel if you don’t believe me. Better yet, pick up a copy of MWF SEEKING BFF for yourself and follow Rachel’s often-hilarious, often-poignant and always compulsively-readable adventure as she tries to find a best friend in the age of coffee shops, book clubs and social media.

And while there’s so much to savor about MWF SEEKING BFF, I think what I loved most was the wonderful way Rachel paralleled her search for a BFF with the search for one’s lovemate (ie, personal ads, and dilemmas like: When’s too soon to call? or How much to share how soon?)

Everyone who knows me knows I am usually comparing some life experience to dating. So I knew even before I cracked open the book, that Rachel and I were kindred spirits. And now, on the very day that MWF SEEKING BFF goes out into the world, I get to ask Deb Rachel the question that was on the tip of my tongue with every irresistible page:

In your opinion, which was harder: Dating or searching for your BFF?

Rachel: For me, searching for a BFF. Definitely. But I should qualify that statement: I never really dated, romantically. I met my husband when we were freshman in college, and save for one blind date when I lived in San Francisco for a couple of months and a three-month breakup after college graduation, we were together ever since. I did get into a debate over this question with some ladies recently. There was a group of us and, perhaps not surprisingly, those of us who were married said searching for a BFF is way harder. The single girls who are searching for their romantic mate said dating is harder. So it seems like a grass is always greener situation.

With friend-dating, there are still fewer “rules.” There’s not protocol the way there is with dating. And I think it’s harder to say “I am looking for friends” than it is to say “I am looking for love.”

I will say that the one way in which friend-dating IS easier, is that you can “go out” with tons of friends at a time. There’s no expectation of exclusivity. So if one friend is just not that into you, there are other friends to ease the fall. With romance, there’s a bit more of an “all your eggs in one basket” situation.

And, of course, no one is trying to get in anyone’s bed!

(Touche, dear. Touche!)

Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Rachel. And I speak for all the Debs when I say we are so excited for readers to make a date with your memoir!


16 Replies to “MWF Seeking BFF Launch week continues with Deb Erika’s Q & A with Deb Rachel!”

    1. So true, Kim. And we take for granted those built-in network of friendship-building-opportunities that we get all the way up until we’re adults. Like Rachel says–and my favorite line of the whole book: “Life was easier when play dates were set up for us.”

  1. Great question and great answer, too! There are a lot of parallels between romantic dating and friend-dating. Very good point about the big difference though. Isn’t it great we can have a whole lot of friends without being considered some sort of friend-slut? *grin*

    1. Ha ha! I actually know a friend-slut – she has TONS of friends and she’s really popular, but then you realize she doesn’t have any close friends. And if you try to get closer and make plans with her (because damn it, she’s FUN!), she’s a bad follow-upper and isn’t really interested in doing one-on-one stuff. She seems to just want a big group of partiers around her. I guess we all want different things from our relationships…

      1. That is FASCINATING. I am totally going to write a blog post about that. It’s definitely a type of woman out there… But after doing the research, I don’t believe there is ANYONE out there who doesn’t need a few close pals…

    1. Kathy, I remember when my husband and I moved to rural Indiana, our oldest was barely a year old but there were so many opportunities to meet other parents. Of course, it helped that he was teaching at a boarding school–talk about a built-in friends network with so many faculty living on campus;)

      1. Kathy, I hear from some women that having kids makes it so easier…and from other women that having kids makes it harder. I think it might be a difference in stay-at-home an work-at-home status? That’s one theory at least. One day I’ll learn for myself!

  2. Would like to affix in a speed dating occasion whereas I visit London and Paris. Can anybody inform me of any companies that have these occasions in these cities?.How do I start a speed dating service?

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