My good friend in college and I loved Carly Simon—we STILL do—and whenever we’d hear a Carly song on the radio, any one of her many spot-on tributes to the emotional landslides that invariably befall us all, my friend and I would turn to one another and say with unabashed reverence: “Carly knows.”
Well, after reading MWF SEEKING BFF, I can now say the same for Deb Rachel in the matter of trying to make friends in our adult years.
The woman knows.
It’s not easy to find that special someone—not even close! And making matters worse, this is not your mother’s tupperware party. Just ask Rachel if you don’t believe me. Better yet, pick up a copy of MWF SEEKING BFF for yourself and follow Rachel’s often-hilarious, often-poignant and always compulsively-readable adventure as she tries to find a best friend in the age of coffee shops, book clubs and social media.
And while there’s so much to savor about MWF SEEKING BFF, I think what I loved most was the wonderful way Rachel paralleled her search for a BFF with the search for one’s lovemate (ie, personal ads, and dilemmas like: When’s too soon to call? or How much to share how soon?)
Everyone who knows me knows I am usually comparing some life experience to dating. So I knew even before I cracked open the book, that Rachel and I were kindred spirits. And now, on the very day that MWF SEEKING BFF goes out into the world, I get to ask Deb Rachel the question that was on the tip of my tongue with every irresistible page:
In your opinion, which was harder: Dating or searching for your BFF?
Rachel: For me, searching for a BFF. Definitely. But I should qualify that statement: I never really dated, romantically. I met my husband when we were freshman in college, and save for one blind date when I lived in San Francisco for a couple of months and a three-month breakup after college graduation, we were together ever since. I did get into a debate over this question with some ladies recently. There was a group of us and, perhaps not surprisingly, those of us who were married said searching for a BFF is way harder. The single girls who are searching for their romantic mate said dating is harder. So it seems like a grass is always greener situation.
With friend-dating, there are still fewer “rules.” There’s not protocol the way there is with dating. And I think it’s harder to say “I am looking for friends” than it is to say “I am looking for love.”
I will say that the one way in which friend-dating IS easier, is that you can “go out” with tons of friends at a time. There’s no expectation of exclusivity. So if one friend is just not that into you, there are other friends to ease the fall. With romance, there’s a bit more of an “all your eggs in one basket” situation.
And, of course, no one is trying to get in anyone’s bed!
(Touche, dear. Touche!)
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Rachel. And I speak for all the Debs when I say we are so excited for readers to make a date with your memoir!