A post for the Research Challenged

Picture of me with my book!

Before we get into this week’s topic, I just want to say I actually received my finished book in the mail this week, and I am so overjoyed I can barely breathe!  Its finally here, and everyone’s been so supportive.  Just wanted to say a heartfelt thanks to the special people who made this possible. My mini-book party was a blast!  Ok, onto the post.   xo  ~M

Research requires patience and a healthy attention span. I was blessed with neither. If I was ever convicted of some heinous crime, just sentence me to a lifetime of research and I guarantee the punishment would surely fit the “transgression.”  (You can thank Tiger for the buzz word of the month.)

Research I loathe: Anything requiring the use of a medical dictionary or a lifeline.

Research I enjoy: Googling ex-boyfriends.

Back when I was in college (before the days of crackberries and cyber everything) I was forced to take an “Investigative Reporting” class with the Christopher Walken of the teaching world. His name: Dr. Charles Burke. His mission: student torture. Saying his name aloud would clear entire rooms, leaving tumbleweeds blowing behind. Because of Dr. Burke’s eccentric downright insane nature, I figured he just needed some kindness and understanding…I foolishly thought I could win him over with my feminine wiles and charming personality. Shhhhyeah, it never happened.

Well, Dr. Burke eventually liked me (and later became my media mentor) but it was long after he nearly failed me in the class. You see, besides some comical “mock reporting performances” before a camera, the entire class was about research. Find some so-called issue affecting society at large and ferret-out the nitty gritty. For my final project I thought it would be interesting to find out what happens to items confiscated by police. Pretty good premise right? Authorities confiscate all kinds of treasure.. everything from cash, to jewelry, to drugs, and merchandise. What happens to this stuff, and where does it all go? Boy was I living a dream. Like cops were really gonna tell some silly college-kid the truth about where the goodies really go after they are forgotten at some warehouse?  I had nor the time or patience for paper-trails, late-night stakeouts, or allegations that would make me “cop enemy” number one. My project was an absolute disaster.  In the end, Dr. Burke strongly urged me to  stick to the “talent side” of the business.  “Garcia, you’ve got some great pipes, but you suck as an investigator.” female spy

On the other hand, my dear friend Patty (who took the class with me) passed with flying colors. Give her a computer and about 20 minutes and she’ll even find out what you had for dinner yesterday. Dessert too.

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Maria Garcia-Kalb

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12 thoughts on “A post for the Research Challenged

  1. Ex-boyfriends, problematic “friends” and others…beware. Patty’s just a phone call away!!!!! Ain’t that right, Maria?

  2. It’s a bummer. People you hoped you would never (ever!) see again, can track you down. On the flip side, we can track down others. Oh, Brave New World. (I google ex-girlfriends too, doesn’t everybody?)

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