I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling, well just a bit off. Was I hung-over, I asked myself? Tuesday night was pretty wild, but in all the excitement, I’m pretty sure I’d only had one drink. But I definitely had symptoms I couldn’t ignore. Maybe I was coming down with something. Quite a lot of the friends I’ve spoken to since election day have reported similar symptoms. Yup, something’s definitely going around alright. It’s called Hope and it’s something that a lot of us haven’t felt in a very long time.
You too may be coming down with a case of Hope. How do you know if you have fallen victim to what may soon reach epidemic proportions? Take this simple test:
Did you wake up on Wednesday morning feeling a little light-headed? Or perhaps like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders?
Do you have the sudden urge to volunteer? To join the Peace Corps, Americorps, Teach for America or to simply pick up litter on the street?
Do you hear friendly, supportive voices? Do you suddenly feel NOT alone?
Did you spend the entire day on Wednesday composing a poem that you envision reading at President Obama’s inauguration? (Do you fantasize that YOU are the next Maya Angelou?)
In aerobics class when the workout remix of the old song “I Believe in Miracles” comes on, do you think of it as a political anthem? Do you secretly refer to Barack Obama as “You sexy thing?”
On Election Night, when one of the news anchors referred to Barack Obama as a “Citizen of the World,” did you yell, “Finally, one of MY homies is going to the White House?”
If you answered “Yes” to three or more of these questions, than you may be a victim of Hope. If you answered “Yes” to ALL of these questions then you may be ME and I suggest you get yourself into therapy immediately.
But if you are, indeed, coming down with a case of Hope, try not to panic. Hope might make you starry-eyed, but it should not make you delusional. Even if you have a severe case of Hope, you should not believe that President Barack Obama is going to single-handedly clean up the mess we are in. But even those of you with a mild case of Hope might no longer feel the need to cower, shop and hand over your rights in order to prove that you are patriotic. If enough of us come down with Hope, then perhaps mindlessness will no longer be a basic requirement of being a good citizen. There is even a movement afoot to ensure that people with Hope will now be entitled to the same rights and protections as other groups of Americans such as Hockey Moms, NASCAR fans and plumbers. I myself feel the day is coming soon when people afflicted with Hope will be considered fully productive citizens and will be integrated into every facet of American life.
Who knows? Maybe someday we’ll even have a President who has been afflicted with Hope. Oh, wait a minute . . . that’s already happened, hasn’t it? Someone pinch me.