Betrayed by a blizzard

Ok, so here’s one of my favorite snow jokes. 

Q-   How do you tell a snowman from a snow woman? 

A-        Snowballs! 

My apologies for the juvenile one-liner.. for some reason it’s the first thing that comes to mind when I think about snow.   Now just in case you don’t know,  I just moved back to Manhattan after escaping from the frozen tundra about 4 years ago.  We went back to balmy  Miami where people complain about excessive humidity and mosquitoes the size of my husband’s ginormous head.  (Seriously, I’ve seen watermelons smaller than his oddly-shaped noggin!)   So what was my response when my husband told me we had to move back to New York for his media job?  Stunned silence, followed by tears, and eventually….a plan to fake my own death.  Unfortunately, my husband’s large head also comes equipped with sonar hearing and he caught wind of my crafty plan.

So as you’ve probably figured out   I   L O A T H E  cold weather…and as lovely and magical as falling snow can be, once its on  the ground -and turns to rock hard ice- it becomes a glaring reminder that frigid weather is made for polar bears and penguins. 

My young son seemed to be very much like me.  He thrived in Florida’s excessive warmth, played every sport created by man, sweat buckets in the hot sun, and loved nothing more than jumping in our pool after a scorching day.  I thought moving to New York would be devastating for him.  Well folks, I’ve been betrayed.  My kid caught sight of those first snowflakes while witnessing his first blizzard last month, and he was hooked.  I’m sure the aero-dynamic snowboard his father bought him for Hanukkah didn’t help, but he’s been begging for more snow ever since.  After Christmas my son and I built our first snowman.  It was pathetic.  The snow was so fluffy it JUST WOULDN’T STICK!  I caught myself yelling at the snow, wondering why it refused to fulfill its destiny.  Finally, I told my son we would have to settle for a much smaller version of the large snowman we envisioned.  In the end, our snow-mess turned out pretty cute, my son was happy, and I guess I like snow a little more.

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Maria Garcia-Kalb

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10 thoughts on “Betrayed by a blizzard

  1. I hate the cold weather too. We lived in Alabama when our son graduated from high school. He decided he wanted to go to college somewhere that has cold weather and gets snow. He’s a senior now and informed us over Christmas break that he hates the cold weather and snow now. It didn’t take him long to figure out he’s like his mama.

  2. I came across your blog and love the idea. I am originally from southern California and married a *Canadian* so I have had to make peace with snow. My four sons are very active, skiing at least 3 days a week, etc…but for me, well, I’ve accepted my destiny. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my dislike of this weather. It seems all I hear this winter is that there’s not *enough* snow!

  3. So if I tell my middle schoolers this joke and they repeat it at school, can I give the principal your phone number to call to lay blame> 😉 I feel your pain about the snow though. They are predicting snow here tomorrow night and I live in the south doggone it. I moved here to escape that mess!

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