Let’s see.. Its been a long time. My memory is quite fuzzy. If I recall, I had just gone on a massive drug bender with Ozzy Osbourne, destroyed a couple hotel rooms, got into a brawl with Kanye West -after he upstaged me at an awards show- (Beyonce was apalled) suffered multiple injuries in the incident, and was eventually left for dead on a dirt road just outside of Nevada when my cell phone rang and my agent was on the other end. I heard a voice, turned away from the light, and the rest is history. ..Oh I’m sorry, that was a recent episode of “Celebs Gone Wild.” If only the real story was remotely that exciting.
The truth is actually much more sobering, but it should offer great hope to any aspiring author out there weeping in their Cherrios because they’ve been rejected for the hundreth time in a week.
When it comes to landing a book deal and publisher, I practically invented the word “reject,” but my book’s initial title was my biggest obstacle. No one would touch it because it was initially titled “50 Ways to Fantasize about KILLING Your Husband!” In hindsight I guess I can’t blame those cautious publishers…they knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to release a book promoting pre-meditated murder. DUH, silly me!
My agent was very positive and incredibly supportive the whole time she was contacting publishers hoping to sell my book, but after 2 years of “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” responses, my poor agent was out of options. All the pub boards reacted the same way; they felt the “concept” was genius and highly entertaining, BUT they were all afraid to take a major risk on such a severe title. I had just about given up, and was strongly considering self-publishing when a (cue angelic harp music) wonderful miracle happened. After almost two years (25 pounds, and many many many anti-depressants later) my agent called with some truly unbelieveable news. She said “There’s a very interested editor at Adam’s Media, BUT they’d like you to consider a SLIGHT title change.” At that point I was willing to consider a SEX-CHANGE to get published, so after much “title negotiating,” we came up with “101 Ways to Torture Your Husband!” I actually liked it better, and NOW I can honestly say the rest is history herstory. Thank You Adams Media for taking a chance on me (love that ABBA song) I am forever grateful.
8 Replies to “Book deals and Kanye West”
I’m so glad that Adam’s Media was willing to work with you and tweak your title. I have to say, my husband will roll his eyes when I bring home “101 Ways To Torture Your Husband,” but he probably wouldn’t have appreciated “50 Ways To Fantasize About Killing Your Husband.”
Oh great! Now I’m going to have that dang ABBA song in my head!ARGH! Maria!
Seriously, though, congratulations!
You triumphed! Nice.
Maria, I swear that was you in the giant silver hot air balloon, with the National Guard trying to safely bring you down… oh, wait.
Congrats! And like Kristina, I’m now singing ABBA. This is unfortunate for those around me because I have a TERRIBLE voice!
I liked the old title. Women would LOVE the old title! And I love that ABBA song, too. I’ll have it in my head the rest of the day now…thanks ;-b
Persistence + Luck = Pluck and now only “Torture!”
Isn’t it wonderful that your agent kept at it for two years! She must really believe in you–and, as the deal indicates, rightly so.
Such nice stories this week 🙂
Wow! That was a long road, but you made it!
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