This week I wrote an Ode on Candy Confessions in the spirit of “Ode on a Grecian Urn” that’s meant to be sung (very loosely) to the tune of Missy Elliot’s “Lose Control” (which my teen-aged daughter recently loaded on my iPod running playlist). Go with it, okay?*
Candy Make U Lose Control
Candy make u lose control
Candy make u lose control
Let’s go
Yeah yeah yeah
Here we go now
Here we go now
Here we go now
Here we go now
Watch out now
Candy make u lose control
Gummy Bears in da house
Malted Milk Balls in da house
M&M’s in da house
Candy make u lose control
(Missy Martha)
My Gummy Bears got cute faces
Chubby waists
Stumpy legs in shape
Bag shakin both wayz
Make me do a double take
Make me grab em any way
Red and green one by one
Eating them is so much fun
Sweet and chewy yum yum yum
Lip smackin
Tongue whackin
Can not stop
Just want more
Fill me up fill me up
Candy make u lose control
Candy make u lose control
Everybody here
Get it outta control
Get yo backs backs off tha wall
Cuz Candy said so
Everybody
Everybody
Everybody
(Missy Eleanor)
I fill my candy bowl
With malted milk balls
Watch them mound
Watch them glisten
When I eat them they do listen
Melt in my mouth
Settle on my tongue
Ooze down my throat
Hypnotize my soul
Can not stop
Just want more
Fill me up fill me up
Everybody here
Get it outta control
Get yo backs off tha wall
Cuz the Candy said so
Everybody
Everybody
Everybody
(Missy Harriet)
I got a drawer full of chocolate
My chocolate drawer is full
M&M’s and Kisses
Chocolate chips galore
Everytime I’m near
They call out my name
Just have a taste
It won’t affect your waist
Grab some up and watch them go
In my mouth my mouth does glow
Can not stop
Just want more
Fill me up fill me up
Everybody here
Get outta control
Get yo backs off tha wall
Cuz Candy said so
Gummy Bears in da house
Malted Milk Balls in da house
M&M’s in da house
Candy make u lose control
Candy make u lose control
Eat it up gurl
Eat it up gurl
Eat it up gurl
Thou thou thou [“Ode on a Grecian Urn” reference]
Yo yo yo
Go go go
*Footnote: My husband didn’t get this at all until I played the Missy Elliot song for him and then he was like, “Oh.”
LOL–love this post, Gail! Candy does make you lose control! Or at least me…
That song always reminds me of years ago when my youngest was in like 4th grade her girlfriends did a dance to this song in some play, and it was so hilarious to see these little girls dancing a la Missy Elliott–something was sort of lost in translation LOL
OMG. Hilarious. I was also considering waxing poetic about candy this week! It seems to inspire the best and worst in us, doesn’t it?
Thanks Jenny and Danielle! I am SO relieved you guys think this is funny. Was a little worried about it… trying to branch out into song writing isn’t as easy as it looks. Btw, the three candy confessions are true.
This completely made me laugh out loud. I think I’ll hum it as I consume the Halloween candy.
Guess this is a terrific example, Gail, about candy/sugar affecting your senses. Very, very clever. 🙂
Maybe I’ll make a CD of me singing it out loud and send it to you, Eileen, as a little Halloween gift.
You think the candy consumption may gotten to me? You may have hit the nail once again, Larramie.
Gail, you’re way too clever!!!!
: )
Ha!!! I particularly enjoyed the “Thou, thou, thou” near the end.
I need to get an iPod…
Thanks Tasha!!
Thanks for mentioning the thou, Jess. I’m so glad the “Thou, thou, thou” didn’t seem too stuck in there at the last minute…
Hilarious!
Lisa