I know it’s not Saturday, but I have reasons for my absence, which are not the same as excuses. But fear not, I shall manage my Saturdays with more efficiency in the future, because I know how it upset my multitude of fans to have come here only to find no post by Deb Kristy.
Despite the fact that I’ve been unable to comment on our very own Debutante posts this week (in addition to not being able to comment on our fine array of fellow bloggers [see list at right] which I aim to remedy this coming week) I have truly enjoyed catching up and reading about their protagonists. Do we have some serious talent on this site, or what? (If you answer “Or what.” you shall be banned from the site and have your dance card revoked for all future foxtrots.)
There are many things I’d like to say about my protagonist(s) in Catching Genius. I’d like to express my satisfaction in Connie’s orchid-murdering ways, my fascination with Estella’s number-crunching coping skills, my certainty that June is possibly the real hero in all of this for her surprising stories of hurricanes and card-counting. But therein lies the problem. In this mixture of struggling, flawed but trying, dammit, women I find myself confused about exactly who my real protagonist is.
So, instead, I’m going to steal a page from Jackie Kessler, talented author and blogger, and will interview the lot of them, hoping their personalities will speak for themselves.
KK: So, Connie, Estella, and June. Thanks for managing to sit in the same room without a single argument.
JUNE: It’s lovely to be here. I’ve brought you some exquisite Norman Love chocolates. Connie, Estella, thank our hostess.
ESTELLA: Sure. Thanks. Really. Can’t stay long.
CONNIE: Mother, I was just about to. Please don’t start…
JUNE: What? Start what? You’d think I didn’t raise you with any manners.
KK: Okay, let’s not get off track–
CONNIE: Every time we go somewhere you do this.
JUNE: What’s that, dear? Be polite? After all, it is Christmas Eve.
ESTELLA: (muttering) Twenty-four is the smallest number with eight divisors, the modular discriminant is the 24th power of the Dedekind eta function, there are twenty-four points on a backgammon board–
CONNIE: Stop that!
ESTELLA: Stop what? Why don’t you stop twisting your ring around like that? Work on your own OCD issues, Connie, and leave mine alone.
JUNE: OCD schmoseedee. You girls are just creative, like me.
KK: So, could I ask a question?
JUNE: Of course, dear.
CONNIE: (sighs) Do you have any wine?
KK: Um, no, sorry. What do you think of this whole thing with your lives being put down in print?
JUNE: I knew my story was interesting enough to be in print someday. It was really just a matter of who would do it.
CONNIE: It’s not your story, Mother. It’s mine, and Gib’s and Carson’s, and how we found their individual talents and worked through our family problems.
ESTELLA: Please. I have no idea how I wound up with these narcissists. I’m the one whose private and very personal secrets got splashed around. Frankly, I never gave my permission to have anything about my life put in print. I really don’t see how this is moral, or even legal.
JUNE: She has a point. Who said you could do this anyway? You know my dear friend, Bob, is a very important lawyer.
CONNIE: Did you get paid for this? Don’t you have to share with us? I have bills, you know. Mother, get Bob on the phone, please.
KK: Okay! Time to wrap this up then. Great having you ladies. Best of luck with that whole dysfunctional thing y’all have going.
* * *
I managed to get them to leave by pointing out the fabulous sunset and telling them that the beachside bar was serving free shrimp and sangria.
I kept the chocolate.