I’m not going to trick you today, but maybe I’ll give you a little treat—a peek into the psyche of this writer. Maybe that’s not much of a treat at all, but hey, it’s calorie free!
So this week’s theme is What scares you most about writing (and I guess by extension, publishing)?
Oh, that’s easy. How about: EVERYTHING!
But in the interest of brevity, I’ll talk about my top few here.
Now that I will be published, my work will be (hopefully) read and reviewed by strangers. People that don’t have to love me and tell me it’s wonderful (like you, Mom). People who may even…gah…NOT LIKE IT. That’s pretty terrifying. I realize that it’s not rational to expect everyone to like my work, but deep down under my tough, crusty exterior, I’m kind of mushy inside and am scared my heart may not be able to take it if people actively hate it.
And here’s another thing: I’m an introvert. I’ve said it before here, and for some reason, my mom doesn’t believe it, but it’s true. I am a homebody who is very happy sitting at her desk by herself, writing down the stuff she makes up in her head. Yes, sure, sometimes I get lonely, but that’s what e-mail and message boards are for. Taa daa! Instant interaction with others in the medium I’m most comfortable with: WRITING. When I write, no one sees me blush or stutter or say the wrong thing or even blather on incessantly about ridiculous topics (Er, that last thing is pretty much what I do here every Monday, but I do edit these posts and try to make them somewhat entertaining).
But the thought of getting up in front of strangers (if they show up – yep, there’s another fear right there) to read to them and answer questions off the cuff, gives me the vapors just thinking about it. Because I will blush and stutter and feel stupid and inadequate and inarticulate. I’ve done some public speaking before, so I know this to be true. But I’m (almost) okay with it because if it’s what I need to do to get my book out there and be a career author, I’ll do it. Because I’m that determined and people can’t learn about my book if I don’t get out there and promote it. And hopefully someday I’ll get to where my knees don’t knock together at just the thought of getting up in front of a crowd. But for now? Yeah, I’m terrified.
Have a spooktakular Halloween! If you run out of candy, remember books make great treats!
We’re all about sharing here at The Ball, so let’s hear what spooks you about writing/publishing?