Deb Linda Debunks the Cabana Boy Myth

My fellow Debs have done such a great job of covering the common publishing myths this week —  it’s hard to know what to add. So I’ll just tell you what the biggest surprise was. You know the rumor that every newly sold writer gets issued a personal cabana boy?

Total myth.

I know! I was crushed. I waited and waited for mine, and he never showed.

It’s not like there was a cabana boy clause in my contract. (Entirely my fault for not reading the fine print more carefully. But, geez, I thought some things were understood. I mean, honestly, wouldn’t you assume a cabana boy would be a standard part of the publishing package?)

 

Hate to burst your bubble, but if you’re out there writing books in hopes of getting yourself some of this…

…you may as well put away your pen right now. Save yourself the heartache.

On the other hand, if you can adapt, like I can, you might just find yourself making do with:

Still, the next time I meet up with my agent I think I’ll wear this:

So, tell me, have I ruined it for you? Did I just shatter your illusions about the writing life? Um, sorry about that.

But we can still fantasize, right? If you could have any celebrity for your own personal cabana boy (or cabana girl, as the case may be), who would it be?

By the way, if you’re thinking Hugh Jackman or Daniel Craig…

…they’re *cough* already taken. Check here, and you’ll realize I already have dibs on them. Just sayin’.

[Okay, I know what you’re thinking — Deb Linda made up this whole myth just so she could post those shirtless pics of Hugh and Daniel. Well…yeah. Duh. But only because I was thinking of YOU and your viewing pleasure. I’m altruistic that way.]

45 thoughts on “Deb Linda Debunks the Cabana Boy Myth

    • Well, there IS still room in my basement, and Johnny WOULD make a nice playmate for Hugh and Daniel… 😉

  1. Wait, what?!? No cabana boys? That’s just…I can’t even…Crap.

    Well, I suppose if I have to go with an imaginary cabana boy (pssshhh!), I’ll pick Edward Norton. I know, I know, not your typical cabana boy material, but did you see American History X? Because, day-um!

    • Oh, I love Edward Norton! He’s sexy in that “you wouldn’t think he’d be sexy but he really is” kind of way. Hmmm. Wonder if he’ll fit in my basement, too?

  2. You’ve got me all flustered Linda. You were right about the fan. And seeing Hugh and Daniel so early in the morning…how am I supposed to get any work done now??

  3. Huh. Well that stinks. Guess I’ll just give up that little dream. But boy-howdy! both Hugh & Daniel are cutie-patooties. 🙂 Thanks for starting my weekend off right! 🙂

    • Nooo! Don’t quit! You can always write yourself a cabana boy. Really, they’re almost as good! 😉

  4. Linda, as always, you go the extra mile for our readers 😉

    True story, when I visited my relatives growing up, they belonged to a pool and there were cabana boys on the site. Granted, I was twelve and, granted, the “cabana boy” was a gangly sixteen year-old with a summer job, I was in love. (You know, for the whole two hours we were there.)

    So what I’m trying to say is that, thank you anyway, dear publisher of mine. I’ve had my cabana boy. I’m good.

  5. Hugh Jackman. But seeing Daniel Craig as James Bond gave me a new appreciation for him. I wouldn’t kick him out of my cabana.

    Just read the entire week’s posts and man, you writers are brave. And of course a typo is not the end of the world.

    • LOL! And, really, why choose if you don’t have to, huh?

      Also, if typos were the end of the world, I would have been forced to give it all up long ago. Thank goodness most people are understanding about them.

    • Oh, yes! He’s serious hottie — heck, he might melt all the ice in your drink before he delivered it to you. 😉

  6. Fun post! What a great choice between Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. I could ogle both of them all day and not have a problem. Well, I’d have a problem, but you know what I mean 🙂

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