Deb Rachel Aims Low

MWF Seeking BFF, by Rachel BertscheWe’re all friends here. This is a safe space.

I’m going to admit something I’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone.

It’s not like you’re going to laugh at me… and if you do I won’t be able to hear you.

God bless the Internets.

I made a list of New Year’s Resolutions the other day. I do this all the time, though. I like to make Wednesday’s Resolutions or Second Saturday of the Month Resolutions. Basically I’ll resolve any time of any day. In fact, the one time I’d rather not make a resolution is on New Year’s, because that just feels forced. I’d rather make an Arbor Day Resolution.

But, I’m avoiding the point, which is to reveal to you my embarrassing resolution. And it is this: Shower and get out of the house.

Are you horrified yet?

You might be wondering what kind of adult human has to resolve to shower. Or to leave the confines of her home.

A hermit. A recluse. Me.

I’m not a filthy person, I swear. But this whole “being a full-time writer” thing? It’s dangerous. It’s so easy to roll out of bed, eat, wander to the computer, type out some words, eat, answer emails, eat, roll back into bed. Note that I didn’t mention turning on the lights, because sometimes I forget to do that, until I’m talking to myself, muttering “Why is it so dark in here?”

At this point you’re likely picturing the crazy bag lady who lives on your corner. That’s not me, I swear. (Remember? I don’t leave my house!)

But, anyway, there you have it. That’s my resolution. After the glitter of working from home fades, you realize that living in pjs is more depressing than indulgent. Sitting in a dark room hunched over a computer may work for Jonathan Franzen—and it may even work for me when I’m deep in the throes of a book—but for my day-to-day? Uh uh. Not digging it.

So, tomorrow, I will get up. Shower. Put on actual jeans (not the pajama kind) and a sweater. And I will consider myself a success.

(I’m sort of the opposite of Deb Molly. She looks back and retroactively sets the bar high. I aim low and hope for the best.)

Ever made a resolution that you were so ashamed of/embarrassed by that you didn’t want to share? Now’s the time. Remember: Safe space!

9 Replies to “Deb Rachel Aims Low”

  1. LOL! I like your style. And I relate to it. It IS easy, when you’re a full-time writer, to skip the non-essentials like showering and getting dressed. I mean, if you haven’t worked up a sweat since the last shower, and you’re not going anyplace before the next time you crawl into bed, then what’s the point? You may as well just plow through the chapter while eating Cheetos. Or, at least that’s what the insidious little voice in the back of your head tells you.

    *sigh* But I suspect your resolution is healthier…

  2. I have been embarrassed for the same reason only the reverse of yours. I also work from home. But I get up at the same time every day, watch Morning Joe, take a shower, get dressed and put on my makeup. Then, and only then, can I start work. My friends and relatives have laughed about this and pointed out my anal behavior at every opportunity. Working from home has no rules, it could be done naked if you aren’t using Skype. Individuality wins!

  3. If you could see the drawers in my bathroom vanity you’d feel my hot shame. A MESS. My bathroom always looks neat and tidy – I have a ton of cabinet/drawer space and I just shove stuff into it. I’m not a hoarder – but all that nail polish, chapsticks, lipsticks, geegaws, accessories random old cell phone parts that accumulated like parking tickets in Brooklyn…. they haunt me.

  4. You know what, I’m totally with you. If I was a full-time writer, I’d totally be in the same boat and would have to force myself to get out of the house. I’m proud of you for admitting it, Rachel – that’s half the battle!

  5. Safe spacers, unite. I won’t get into the filthy details (not the good kind of filthy, in case anyone is wondering (Deb Linda)) but I too suffer from the low bar. And it gets worse. I’ve been known to go the whole day without brushing my teeth if it’s a day I don’t leave the house. (But of course I have this thing about not liking to brush my teeth until I’ve had my coffee, and, well, I can nurse my coffee until easily two in the afternoon, so…)

    Okay, Rachel. Feel better now? 😉

    1. LOL! I feel the same way about not brushing my teeth until after tea/coffee/breakfast. Especially coffee, because coffee after toothpaste? Bleah.

  6. Ha, when I had the summers off from teaching, I had to make a rule for myself that I had to leave the house every THIRD day. How’s that for a low bar?

    1. When TG suspects I’ve been holed up for too long, he’ll casually ask if I have time to pick up this or that at the store for him. His little way of making sure I don’t turn into a hermit, I guess. *grin*

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