If you’re a regular reader of my blog, Don’t Pet Me, I’m Writing, you already know I’m prone to doing dumb things.
If you aren’t a regular reader, allow me to tell you now – I’m prone to doing dumb things.
Fortunately, this allows me to offer useful advice based on my own missteps. Here are just a few nuggets of wisdom:
- When intentionally lighting your hands on fire, consider having a bucket of water nearby. (Full story here).
- Avoid shopping online while overindulging in Pinot Noir. Though surprises are nice, it can be alarming to receive a large painting shipped from Australia. It’s more alarming to receive the bill.
- If you’re sitting on the toilet and suddenly feel nauseous, aim away from your underpants. (Full story here).
- Do not stick a metal spoon in your glass blender unless you like the look of salsa on your ceiling and the crunch of glass shards in your huevos rancheros.
- If you help yourself to a large scoop of whipped cream at a professional luncheon, be certain it’s really whipped cream and not butter before shoving it in your mouth. (Full story here).
- When emailing a co-worker to make a snarky comment about the boss’s frequent tardiness, be certain the boss is not reading over the co-worker’s shoulder.
- If you accidentally wax off a hunk of your eyebrow and attempt to draw it back with eyeliner, avoid the green pencil. (Full story here).
There are at least six dozen more where those came from, but I figure those will be most useful for day-to-day life.
Have you learned any life lessons the hard way by doing dumb things? Can you offer good advice as a result?
If not, don’t worry – I’ve got it covered for all of us.
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