Enjoying the Ride by Deb Eileen

When I was 9 I couldn’t wait to be 10 because then I would be double digits which as anyone would tell you is far better than single digits.

When I was 10 I wanted to be 13 because then I would be a “real” teenager and thus party to all the fun that Seventeen magazine promised me: boys, lipgloss and the much hoped for arrival of boobs.

When I was 13 I wanted to 16 because then I would be able to drive and have freedom.

When I was 16 I wanted to be 18 because then I would be an adult.

When I was 18 I wanted to be in college.

When I was in college I wanted to be out.

When I was out of college I wanted to get back in.

When I was in my Masters program I wanted to be get married.

When I got married I wanted to have furniture that matched and didn’t consist of milk cartons.

It was at this point that I had my first married fight. My husband did not see the need for new furniture. This indicated to me that he clearly didn’t have an interest in our lives and I became huffy as only a woman who has a moving box with a tablecloth over it as an end table can be. My husband pointed out that we had our whole lives together. We didn’t need to have all matching furniture right now. We could simply enjoy the process of getting there instead of wishing our lives away on the next thing.

Huh. What a concept.

I try not to focus on the next thing anymore, but instead focus on the present. People ask me how thrilled I will be when I hold my book in my hand. It will be amazing, but right now I’m enjoying the state of being a writer with a book coming out. There will be plenty of time to enjoy it when it is out – no need to rush it now.

What is one great thing happening in your life right now?

14 Replies to “Enjoying the Ride by Deb Eileen”

  1. I loved this post, Eileen. It’s 55 degrees out, mighty chilly for South Florida, and I am snug in my sweet little home that I truly love, getting ready to write a new scene in the WIP, Matters of Faith, I know where I’m going with it and have high hopes of hitting my 2,000 words today, I’m sipping a cup of French Vanilla coffee, my sweet dog is dozing in the corner, happy and worn out from her walk, and The Age of Innocence is on in the background. It’s a lovely day. Thanks for reminding me.

  2. When I read your post, I had a stupid smile on my face. Me was always wishing the moments away, too! Yes, I am in zen moment now, appreciating need for complete manuscript overhaul. Will. Try. Not. To. Think. Of Dec. 23, when leave for two weeks in French West Indies, eating too much lobster, celebrating Christmas and New Year’s laying blotto on beach with good read. Try not to think, stay in moment… Now will take three doses of herbal version of Prozac, wait for heart rate to slow, apply bum to chair, and get writing.

  3. Thanks, Eileen. I needed to see this because our move is going to be delayed until the fall, and I was really looking forward to getting it done in the next few months, so I was feeling kinda blue that it isn’t going to happen right now.

    The great thing that is happening in my life right now…I am home visiting my parents and brother and neice.

    P.S. My husband is the one with the furniture fetish in our family. He can’t understand why I want matching dishes though.

  4. Given the fact that my blog is about taking the time to live in the present, I love hearing others express joy by being in the moment. As trite as it may sound, “the present is a gift”…often a surprise one because Life’s gifts are wondrous and come to us when it’s time. Right now I’m feeling warm and fuzzy after doing some wrapping of perfect Christmas gifts that family and friends are going to love.

  5. I was like that, too… But at some point it did change.

    I was good friends with my older sister growing up, so I constantly felt the youngest at lots of things and wanted to be older… I was in a coop program during University, so started doing a seriously grown up job at age 19. My b-day is in May and I used to always start thinking of myself as a year older starting in January (or even earlier).

    I can’t remember when i changed… It was some time in my mid thirties I think. Someone asked how old I was and I told them a year lower. not on purpose. I honestly thought that was my age. Now in my forties, my two closest friends currently are in their early thirties… so I still don’t feel forty…

    (And I still have never in my life, bought a real sofa. One of these days.)

  6. Ha! But that’s not what you asked, is it Eileen???

    One great thing in my life right now… I’m revising a book I think is pretty good. How’s that? It’s fun to be in this delusional place where you think your book is great, your CP’s think it’s great, the little bit of it your agent has seen, she liked… And no one’s rejected it yet. Yes, I will enjoy that until it starts getting submitted to editors. (No, dammit. I just started worrying about the future again, didn’t i??? I learned nothing from your post, Eileen. Nothing!)

  7. Funny you should post this! I was just twenty minutes ago remembering how, at age 11, my friends and I dreaded being older than 13 because we figured that’s when all the fun would end. (Maybe that’s why I write YA! I’m still trying to get back to my teen years.)

    In my life… well, selling my book is the obvious choice. But I’m also having the wonderful ongoing experience of settling into myself — evolving as a person, and realizing what’s important to me, what’s not, what I’ve improved, what still needs work… I have a feeling this will be a lifetime’s worth of work, and sometimes that’s enough to get me out of bed in the morning.

    (My first big married fight happened when I wanted to go to the midnight buffet on the cruise and get a hamburger… and my husband said, “You don’t need a hamburger!” and I fuh-lipped out, because I thought, “For the rest of my life, every time I want a hamburger, someone is going to tell me I don’t need one.”)

  8. My manuscript was requested by Drystel & Goodrich literary agency, read the next day and the agent said some nice things about my writing and suggested some revisions. He said if I did revise, he’d love to see it again. I completed the revisions last week, sent them to him and the next day another agent I really want also requested the complete manuscript. Now, they both have it and while I’ve heard nothing back yet….I’m so happy and excited I could..well….you know.

    So, it was good to read this post. I should stop stressing about the future and be grateful for all the good in the present.

  9. I can really relate to this. Part of me wishes time would slow and that my 3 sons would stay this age forever. But the rest of me can’t wait for Spring and can’t wait for more freedom (read: no babysitters). Tough balance. I try to enjoy where I am, when I’m there. Not always easy. Thanks, Eileen.

  10. I have a beautiful loving wife, a beautiful and loving (albeit liberal)daughter. But then I’ve had that every year. Every year just gets better and better.

  11. One thing happening that is great in my life right now (aside from the everyday great, wonderful things) is that I am finally taking time for myself DAILY! Doing yoga 3-4 times a week is making me feel like I am taking care of myself, and it gets me out of the rut.

    Can I just tell you another great thing that will be happening is that Swish and I are going to come meet you in Feb and hopefully you will not be too busy with family, and you can hang with us that night!

    Seriously, we are looking forward to it!

    Ta-Ta you little debutante you!

  12. Me? Sleep. And new friends, of which you head the list. I think both help keep me sane. In fact, I know they do, seeing how I am sitting here able to respond to this post without freaking out or eating copious amounts of chocolate …!

  13. Excellent post, Eileen. It’s so easy to get caught up in living for “someday.” I spent a lot of my life waiting for the right time for things. The right time to quit my job so I could write full time. The right time to have a baby. Then I learned that we have to make our own right time. It’s all about living in the moment. Thanks for the reminder.

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