Ok, I’m gonna say it. Many of you may not like it, some of you may even try to have me committed, but here it goes.
SEASONS ARE SEVERELY OVERRATED.
Yeah, yeah, hiss and groan all you want (you can even throw virtual tomatoes if it makes you feel better) but I’m pretty light on my feet, and you’ll probably miss ( na-nee-na-nee-boo-boo!) Even though I was actually born in “The Frozen Apple,” (aka New York) I grew up in “The Sunburn State,” (aka Florida) where seasons are mostly considered an urban legend. Yep, when I was a youngin’ we’d sit around roasting marshmallows on the asphalt hearing stories about the frigid North…a magical land where leaves actually turned colors (without the help of Disney Imagineers) snow fell from the heavens, and people burned fires INDOORS to keep warm! Unfathomable. My idea of a season change was visiting a local ice-skating rink where shockingly, my hair wouldn’t frizz and I could wear the one sweater I owned. I dreamed of the day I could travel to one of those far away places and experience a season other than “85 and sunny.”
Well my good friends, that day finally came –and all I can say is be careful what you wish for. Seriously. I married a “Brooklynite,” moved to the big city, and got to experience climate overload! Let me tell you, if seasons could be returned, I’d be the first one at Mother Nature’s customer service counter. “Listen woman, Winter just SUCKS…. and are you kidding me with nor’easters?? What the heck is wrong with you???!!” Hopefully she wouldn’t take it personally.
The bottom line is climate changes require work and patience, and I constantly feel like a hamster on a wheel. Seasons come and go and you’re always in the same place, broke and tired as you try to keep up with the constant wardrobe changes and varying temps. That’s why I’ll always love Florida. Seasons never change and flip flops are always “in.” Unfortunately, the pizza blows and palm trees aren’t exactly a hoot at Christmas. So what can I say.. I heart New York, but I’ll always loathe thermal underwear.