I have a special gift. I remember lines from movies. Not just the classics, like,
This is the start of a beautiful friendship
Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion.
You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.
Houston, we have a problem
Here’s looking at you, kid
I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse
Don’t call me Shirley, or one of my personal favorites
K-k-k-Ken is c-c-coming to k-k-kill me.
But I can also quote back the obscure, the stupid, and the useless as ones well:
I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.
It’s just me and the moron twins. We’re not twins.
I must be crazy to be in a looney bin like this.
I just (aaack) ate a bug.
Who here wants to be an advertising executive? Who here wants to be a fire truck?
I’m a short, fat, slut.
I’m Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl’s Jr.
Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
Here’s how my hidden talent brought me true love: One night, my girlfriends and I were in a bar/restaurant, and we started playing a movie trivia game with a nearby group of guys. One guy, Tom, and I were on the same team. Just the two of us. Back and forth we went, quote for quote, sometimes answering at the exact same time, so fast, no one from the other teams could get a word in edgewise.
Clearly, I had to marry the guy. I’d found my perfect match.
And on a lovely summer day in San Diego, I gained a groom, a friend, and one hell of a DVD collection.
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