They say the first step is admitting you have a problem- so here it goes.
I care too much about pop culture.
It isn’t as if these issues keep me up at night, but I do wonder. How will Paris function in jail? Will she force her tiny dog to wear a striped outfit with a itsey bitsy ball and chain attached to one paw? Will she be forced to wear giant granny prison panties and come to discover the joys of covering one’s hoo-ha from the elements? Will she blow up like a blow fish on all that high carb food? Am I bad person for enjoying this so much?
A friend has recently gone on a purge. Not one of those sea kelp/no sugar/don’t wander too far from the bathroom purges, but a celebrity news purge. She has sworn off trashy magazines and Entertainment Tonight. This is when I knew I had a problem. Sure I could quit for a period of time- but cold turkey forever? It gives me the sweats. I’m not proud- like a drinker who hides the empties, I try and squirrel away the evidence of my addiction. I make sure people see me reading high quality literature and I play jazz on the stereo. Tragically all of my efforts only pull a thin blanket over the truth. I care about pop culture.
Now onto the important question of the day- will Paris learn the value of panties in prison? What do you think?