The first few times I told someone I was a writer I wasn’t prepared for their reaction. They looked at me distrustfully as if I had stated that I was a major in an intergalactic alien army while wearing a tin foil hat. “What have you written?” They would ask. Once they heard the answer they responded “Well, I’ve never heard of it.” Sigh.
People are full of good advice for the debut author. I had no less than a dozen people offer key suggestions for my publishing success such as:
- You should get on the Oprah show! (or Today, or Ellen, or People magazine or insert major media outlet here);
- Make the bookstores do a big display for you, no one is going to see you back there on the shelf;
- You should have made the cover look like (insert their design idea here).
I was impressed they thought I had this kind of clout in the publishing world. I’ll just call Oprah today and tell her the world didn’t need another interview with sofa hopper Tom Cruise- they want me. I’ll send a stern letter to the CEO of Borders, Chapters and Barnes and Noble to find out when I can expect my front of store display- just as soon as I have the cover re-designed to my exact specifications of course.
My favorite comment thus far was the person who told me “you don’t look like a writer.” When I inquired what a writer looked like she said “you know, more tortured. Deep.” Apparently I look frivolous and a touch shallow. How disappointing. I’ve decided that I need to take up wearing a black beret and smoke clove cigarettes while discussing how Sylvia Plath was way too plucky and upbeat for my taste.
I think I’ll take lessons from Henri here: Henri