Ways to deal with rejection
1. Cry. (But preferably not in front of the rejecter.)
2. Pull weeds in the garden.
4. Play Wii boxing, and make a little avatar for the rejecter.
5. Read one-star Amazon reviews of any book ever connected with the rejecter.
6. Get angry and write long profanity-laden journal entries, rant to close friends and family (but STEP AWAY FROM THE BLOG.)
7. Treat yourself kindly, via bubblebath, wine, ice cream, or whatever indulgence fits within your budgetary and chemical tolerances.
8. Realize that the above things are petty and not at all helpful in the large scheme of things, but they don’t hurt anybody (providing number seven is performed in moderation) and a little spleen-venting is probably necessary.
And then? Get to work.
Nothing kills a writing project like a lack of momentum, and although a rejection will knock you off stride for a day or so, GET BACK TO WORK. The only thing worse than rejection on the way to publication is rejection on the way to giving up.
— Deb Kristina (whose favorite method is number seven, in the shiraz-and-dark chocolate variety)
11 Replies to “In which Deb Kristina licks her wounds”
Massive e-mails sent to self and saved by self for perusal down the road, hopefully laughter. I guess this falls under #6. One really good succinct phrase or concept, whatever it might be, can come out of this and get you forward by at least a week.
And after the Shiraz and dark chocolate and week or so of wallowing, I find it helpful to use the rejection as motivation of the “I’ll show them” mentality.
Good one, Becky, though I’d be afraid of clicking the wrong button and… *shudder* The e-mail misfire. A uniquely 21st century disaster.
Judy, yes of course! That’s a great strategy, too, and always feels better after some shiraz and chocolate.
I have a particularly bad temper (although it often takes me awhile to lose it). I usually do #1, 3 and 6 with mixed results. And then move on. Holding on to the anger and stress isn’t worth it (and they’ve found it can make you ill by lowering your immune system).
Like Meredith, I, too, have a bad temper. Elaborate revenge fantasies work for me. Preferably while gnawing on a chocolate bar.
Simply put: Show ’em what you’ve really got!
Amen to the post-script of #6!
Oh, I just cry. And then I get over it. Gotta keep moving.
Notice that all our advice include some version of moving on! It’s really true; you can’t hold onto this stuff. Not good for you, not good for the work. (And probably not so good for the family…)
Great list! I also like to add a revenge fantasy or two.
I don’t know about the crying, but I know Eve calls me and tells me she got another rejection letter, but “Mom, they wrote the nicest thing about my book, and I should keep on trying”, because it was just not their market!” Frankly I expected much more weeping and wailing…but not so…just keeps on ticking like the little energizer bunny she is.
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