In which Deb Kristina questions her choice of fridge magnets

liarscoverthumbnailIn Real Life & Liars, the character of Katya is defined in part by her kitchen:

“Her granite countertops gleam, her stainless-steel refrigerator reflects the afternoon sun coming in from the breakfast nook, and if she were prone to do such things, her utensils and pots hanging from the rack above the center island would sound like wind chimes if she brushed them with her hand.

Once, she saw a refrigerator magnet at her mother’s house that said, ‘Boring women have clean kitchens.’ Katya was deeply insulted.”

My kitchen looks nothing like this.

I do strive for uncluttered counters, because clutter makes me nervous. Each piece of flotsam lying out in the open screams at me: “Put me away! I don’t belong here!” and I don’t like to be screamed at while I’m making coffee.

However, my refrigerator is a free-for-all, a crazy quilt of clutter. We’ve got the requisite kindergarten certificates and scribbled drawings, reminders of terribly important things that we squint at with bleary eyes in the morning and forget about when it counts.

naughty_magnets

We’ve also got some irreverent magnets, like these, here, which will have to go away soon, now that my oldest is learning to read. I don’t think I want to hear him ask, “Mommy, what are track marks?” or have him announce to his teacher, “Beer saved my parents’ marriage.”

Pictured below is my favorite thing on my fridge. We call it “Picasso Turkey.” My son made this in preschool, when he was four years old. He was supposed to paste these pre-cut foam pieces onto a clothespin and render it turkey-like. Personally, I find this result more hilarious and endearing than any perfect turkey could possibly be. In fact, I find his total disregard for conventional turkey imagery to be utterly charming.

picasso_turkey

My character, Katya, would never be able to stand such weird disarray in her perfect kitchen.

Her loss, wouldn’t you say?

12 thoughts on “In which Deb Kristina questions her choice of fridge magnets

  1. OMG – I LOVE the Picasso turkey!!! And the refrigerator magnets. I say keep them up there. Your son will learn that his parents have senses of humor!

  2. I love the Picasso turkey. I think it shows a great mind.

    Sadly, our new house came with a wood-front fridge. My magnets have been relegated to other parts of the house and are not as visible. 🙁

  3. Definitely Katya’s loss but then she actually misses out on so much more.

    Btw, Kristina, the turkey is terrific and needs to be framed for posterity…

  4. Your son’s artwork is just like my middle daughter’s! She’s completely out of the box and we love her that way. God help the world, though. Your magnets are hilarious. Can I borrow the espresso one?

  5. Hi ladies! I knew the Picasso Turkey would be a hit! It’s never coming down off the fridge. I’ll be telling this story to his girlfriends when he’s sixteen.

    Speaking of espresso, I’m low on euphoria. I think my coffeemaker’s calling me…

  6. Great post! I hope your son’s teacher appreciated his turkey. Very cool. And I vote that the magnets should stay, too. You’ve got to give kids something to complain about when they’re teenagers.

  7. I laughed out loud when I pictured your son telling the teacher that beer saved his parents’ marriage. Then I pictured the teacher saying, “You know, I think it saved mine too, if I’m honest. Time for a brewski right now. The reading groups are done, aren’t they?”
    The turkey is a classic!
    b

  8. Ha, Becky!

    Meredith yes, I do believe the Picasso Turkey was a hit at school, too. I’m glad there wasn’t somebody hovering over him to say, “No! The feathers go here! No eyeballs on the belly!”

    Oh Eileen, you have no idea. He makes me laugh every single day.

    I’m laughing at the turkey again…

  9. Picasso Turkey is wonderful, Kris! Maybe he can be our Deb class mascot… you know, like sororities have their own little animal–penguin, owl, lion? We’re the Picasso Turkeys.

  10. Love the magnets and adore the Picasso turkey — it’s sensational! sadly, my refrigerator isn’t magnetic, but at least that’s one surface that stays clean…

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