I grew up in Denver, Colorado where it never failed to snow on Halloween night. Which means, most of my Halloween memories involve my brother and me, wet and miserable, tromping along in three inches of sidewalk slush, moping because we had to wear our coats over (or worse, under) our costumes. Again.
I still love Halloween. I just like it better in Florida.
And now, a word from our sponsors:
Last night I saw a TV commercial that caused such a reaction in me that I nearly snorted lemonade right out of my nose. Let me remind you, I spent eight years as an advertising copywriter, so this feat is nearly impossible. And yet, it happened.
The commercial opens with a man in his pajamas alone in his double bed, and he is WAY over on one side of the bed.
Then, we cut to the bathroom, where a lonely “HIS” towel hangs forelornly on the rack, the matching “HERS” towel apparently packed up by the former Mrs. when she took the kids and moved in with her mother. Then, we hear the voice of Mr. Lonely Towel Guy saying, “after the divorce, I didn’t know how I was going to get back out there…”
Cut (immediately!) to a scene after the man formerly known as Mr. Lonely Towel Guy has apparently discovered the miracle that is JUST FOR MEN hair color: he is cruising along in a jeep alongside a giggling Bikini Babe, his newly refurbished hair whipping in the wind.
After some time bouncing around on the beach, and a bit of frolicking with Bikini Babe where Mrs. Lonely Towel Guy used to sleep, it’s clear all of Mr. Lonely Towel Guy’s troubles are over:
The hair dye has actually healed the pain from his divorce, in just FIVE MINUTES!
Don’t you fret, towel boy, I’m sure it wasn’t your impending midlife crisis, or your incessant whining, or the fact that you left your toenail clippings under the recliner every Sunday night that caused the rapid decline of your marriage — IT WAS YOUR HAIR! The former Mrs. Lonely Towel Guy just couldn’t take it any more!
Good GAWD, when you marry a man, for better or for worse, till death do us part, the LAST thing you expect is for his hair to turn gray! Am I right ladies?
If only you’d discovered that little box of magic a bit sooner.
And the tagline? Stay In The Game! That’s right, brothers of Mr. Lonely Towel Guy, the only thing standing between you and a hot Bikini Babe is a $7.99 box of hair dye. I recommend “Macho Man Mocha.” It’s just your style.
But maybe I should give Mr. Lonely Towel Guy a break: He’s sad, his wife left him, he still can’t sleep in the middle of the bed, he has to use that damned “HIS” towel every day because his wife took all the good linens, and he feels like crap. Maybe he just needs a little pick-me-up-in-a-box and the love of a stranger to get himself through the night.
21 Replies to “It’s not your hair, buddy. By Deb Lisa Daily”
LOL–loved that segue! Yes, if only Lonely Towel Guy were a Gal, then he could be happy with her boyfriend BOB…No doubt that’s who his wife left him for, because BOB isn’t gray? Or because BOB didn’t do all of those other things…
Poor, poor, Lonely Towel Guy.
Lonely Towel Guy better watch how he uses his sole towel because I can’t believe Just For Men doesn’t wear/rub off! 😉
LOL, Larramie —
He’ll be leaving that tell-tale brown smudge right in the middle of his only towel. Whatever will he do if Bikini Babe decides to sleep over?
Er, HAIRCOLOR smudge…
Hilarious, Lisa! Thanks for the morning laugh!
So glad you clarified that smudge-factor…
OMG. So funny. And the comments are almost as funny as the post! Thanks for the chuckles, Lisa!
Their hair can turn gray? OMG why didn’t anyone warn me? Shouldn’t that be in the marriage vows so we have an out clause?
LOL! Either way, Bikini Babe would run screaming from the house.
Hey, they took “Obey” out of the marraige vows — no reason we why can’t add a little something in — it could fit right here: “as long as your hair remains its current color and thickness, and as long as you both shall live.”
Maybe it should be “OR as long as you both shall live…
Too funny, Lisa! And, of course, there are a myriad of other possible deletions and additions to consider, but maybe we’ll save that for another blog! Thanks for the laugh!
Ha! A little Just for Men, a little Viagra, a new Jeep: insta-stud!
(Here in Wisconsin we have also had our share of snow on Halloween…last year it was FREEZING during trick-or-treating, and kids were warming their poor little hands over our jack o’lanterns.)
Geez, Lisa, I can just imagine you snorting your lemonade over the hair dye commercial. Thanks so much for pointing out that for any of us, men OR women, relationships don’t fail because of wrinkles or gray hair or any of the natural effects of aging. Sure, those of us who have gray hair, (or are experiencing the effects of gravity!) don’t look as young as we once did. We’re NOT as young as we once were, but often have more wisdom, and can laugh more and love deeper. I hope that Mr. Towel Guy comes to understand that. Thanks for YOUR wisdom (gained at an unusually young age, I’m sure) and for your humor.
What scares me is A. someone thought this commercial would be effective and B. It might be.
And anyway, if my man came home with a box of hair dye, I wouldn’t think he was trying to save our marriage, I’d think he was going out looking for strange.
I think that towel guy would be much better off spending the $7.99 on another towel. I shudder to think what else that lone towel has to endure. Bikini Babe ain’t staying over more than one night.
Joanne & Patrick:
Hhhmm, I wonder if I spent 7 bucks on my hair if I would get lucky too.
Oh wait, that’s right, I’m a woman and I can have sex whenever I want.
Well, as long as I’m willing to do it with bald guys.
Don’t tell me you didn’t get one of those anti-baldness escape clauses in your wedding vows…
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