No! You’re the best! No! You’re the best! by Deb Joelle

Michael BourretI just have to get this off my chest right away. You might like your agent, you might even love your agent, but I have the very best agent in the whole wide world. So there. I’m not trying to make you jealous or anything, but it’s true. While all agent/writer relationships are different, and I will concede that he might not be the right agent for you, he’s definitely the right agent for me!

Now, I know…you’re salivating, Who is it? What’s his email address? Can I get a personal recommendation? Wow! Isn’t he handsome? Since he once told me that I should send anyone I know who is querying his way, and he’d be very upset if they signed with someone else without his getting a look first, I’m pretty sure he’d want me to actually mention his name here. He is the fabulous Michael Bourret at Dystel & Goderich Literary Management (and if you didn’t mean it, Michael, well…be careful what you say to me, because like you, I have an excellent memory).

Michael and I are a fantastic match. We both like to surprise other people (although he doesn’t like surprises, I’m totally open to them – especially gifts, luxury vacations, Cubs tickets, and multi-book deals even when I only have one book out on submission), we know that there’s no point in even eating chocolate unless it’s milk chocolate, caramels are both a cause for celebration and a means to celebrate, and we’re both born in the same month (the best month of the year – but I won’t tell you so if you’re born in one of the other eleven months you won’t feel bad).

Michael and I have contests to see who can answer an email faster, wittier, and also who gets the last one in. Michael often tries to outdo me by sending an email with only a smiley face in it after I make a particularly hilarious and quick comment, thinking that I can’t come up with a response to that. The truth is, I know he likes to get in the last word, so sometimes I let him. It’s good to humour your agent once in a while (but don’t tell him).

When Michael called to offer, he never actually offered. It was kind of like when someone tells you how much they like you, as if they’re leading up to asking you out, and they even mention a concert on a certain day, but then never actually say, “Will you go with me?”

He ended our half hour conversation with something along the lines of, “Well, I’m sure you have a lot to think about. So just get back to me when you’re ready.”

Finally, I took a deep breath and said, “Ummm…so are you offering to rep me?”

He laughed. “Yes! Of course I am!”

Naturally, I couldn’t let him have the last word that time. “I don’t need to think about it!!!” I exclaimed. “I definitely want to sign with you!!!!’

Did I mention we both love !!!! too (just not in the manuscript)?


9 Replies to “No! You’re the best! No! You’re the best! by Deb Joelle”

  1. Oh, Joelle…*milk* chocolate? You may have the best agent in the world, but your taste in chocolate is questionable… ;-D

    I once read on some industry blog that using emoticons and exclamation points in business emails is terribly unprofessional. So glad to hear I’m not alone in using !!!! and smilies in my correspondence!

  2. He sounds great, but I’m with Emily on the chocolate. Dark chocolate caramels are one of life’s true pleasures!

  3. I also love !!!s. A professor once told me, “You only get two exclamation points in your life. Use them wisely.” I’m way, way over my quota!

  4. Thanks for the kind words, Joelle! We are a pretty good match, aren’t we?

    And for the record, we both try to control our use of “!”, but we’re not very good at it. There’s too much to be excited about!

  5. After this week’s posts one can’t help but think you all gave hope to aspiring writers. Everyone found the love of their writing life — an agent. Now Michael Bourret is introduced seeking queries…may he be well-stocked with chocolates!!! 😉

  6. oh Joelle that is too funny about the offer!
    ! are the best, you can never have too many in emails or comments!
    Now I wonder how Michael feels about them in queries 🙂

  7. this is the best post ever!! so funny! I love “!” too! And I got in trouble for it in my Report Writing class. I had one in my summary assignment, and she circled it and called it a “shriek.” i guess the best place to leave out capital letters and have lots of shrieks is blogs like this! I also do … too much when im writing emails… but you know that already!!

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