On Balance, a.k.a. The Blog Post Deb Elise Should Not Write

Balance scalesThere are some topics on which I have no right to blog: Raising twins (don’t have ’em), Skydiving (won’t do it), Sword-Swallowing (ow)…

Yet even considering all those, probably the topic on which I have the least right to blog is Balance, and I mean that in every sense of the word.  I will fall over if I try to do tree pose, I’m too impatient to find that perfect mass to get the two scale trays level, and to me Balance Bars taste like…

…okay, I actually really like Balance bars.  But they’re awfully calorie-dense, and not satisfying enough to be a true meal replacement, so I try to avoid them.

Finding balance in my life?  It’s one of those things I resolve to do every year (oh yeah, it’ll be on my 2011 list).  I swear I’ll find balance… and I also swear I’ll find time to whip my butt into amazing shape, volunteer at my daughter’s school, keep the house clean and organized, kick ass on all my assigned writing, write the spec screenplay/pilot/manuscript I’m dying to do, network like crazy, plan dinners ahead and cook them brilliantly, run several marathons, pitch new TV/book projects, blog every day (new one for 2011!), keep up my “daily” journal to my daughter, read all the books I want/need to read, have a crazy-wild nightly sex life with my husband, pay every bill the minute it comes in, keep impeccable track of my finances, play joyfully with my daughter whenever she and I are together, and always find tons of fantastic quality time with all the people in my life who matter to me.

And meditate.  I always think if I somehow add meditating to the mix, it’ll all magically work out.

It’s possible my expectations are a little much.  I tend to think in extremes, like “daily,” “nightly,” and “always.”  The obvious problem with that is when I don’t reach those goals, I feel like I’ve messed up.  And inevitably, when I am going full-tilt on some of the things on my list, others slide, and I feel terribly out of balance.  At the same time, everything I laid out are things I really really want to do, and a stubborn part of me is sure I can do it all… if I just find that magic key.  (Back to meditating — maybe the answer?)

I don’t have the solution; I’m still seeking it.  And with January 2011 and a whole new set of New Year’s resolutions coming up, I could definitely use your help.

So please, tell me… what tools do you use to bring balance into your life?  How do you adjust your expectations so you’re still striving for all those things you want, while not setting yourself up to fall short?

I imagine I’ll learn a lot from my fellow Debs’ posts this week, and I’d also love to learn from everyone else.

Believe me, I need all the help I can get.   🙂

~Deb Elise

10 Replies to “On Balance, a.k.a. The Blog Post Deb Elise Should Not Write”

  1. I think few women have balance in their lives. We’re doing too many jobs, whether or not we have a husband/partner and kids or not. I have adopted the Dorey approach, I just keep swimming knowing I’m making some progress and doing my best. Some days I do lose my breath and feel completely scattered and lost. I try to push through those days as best I can. Today my Bella is home sick. She upchucked twice last night in her bed – “spilled” as Mia calls it. (My girls have autism and they have never gotten the hang of puking in the toilet. Gianna runs spraying everywhere, Mia and Bella at least stay in one place.) My scratchy throat for the last 3 weeks is now a dreadful cold or chest thing. I have a book signing 90 miles away in NJ Wed pm (Wachtung Books, Montclair, 7pm) which from CT at rush hour might as well be in LA and we leave Friday am for Cleveland for a Friday pm event for The Learned Owl bookstore in Hudson. I’m already wiped out just thinking of it. So I’ll ignore it and just concentrate on washing the bedding, caring for Bella and drinking scalding hot tea with a nip of Chivas. That last part is really very helpful!

    1. Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa (ninjiom-hk.cwahi.net) may be another choice. i know alot of people use it, its also non alcoholic, though it’s effectiveness is not as good as alcohol based cough medicine, but it’s still good to use on not so serious scratchy throat.

  2. I believe in setting my goals very low. Like “today I will get out of bed” and “today I will consume several glasses of wine.” That way I always have a sense of accomplishment.


    1. I like that. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go with “Today I will cuddle with my dog while reading novels and eating chocolate.”

      I feel more balanced already.

    1. Soooo glad I’m not alone in this one, Larramie!

      I’m thinking I need to stop putting it on my New Year’s resolutions and just resign myself to being happily off-kilter.

  3. You know, I was so proud of myself for going to yoga today, for doing something that I thought was balancing, and now I’m totally paying for it in terms of stuff that needs to be done. (Have I showered? Not yet.)

    I am not the person to ask about balance, sadly. I never seem to be able to find the right combination to get all the things I *want* to finished along with all the things I *need* to. Very frustrating. But when you figure it out, I will totally PayPal you a billion dollars for the secret!

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