Please Bump Me by Deb Lisa

I’ve decided to have an affair with my husband.

Sure, we’re married, but I think that will make it a bit more interesting.

This past weekend, my husband and I went to Annapolis, MD for homecoming weekend and a class reunion at the Naval Academy, his alma mater. We left the kids at home with my mom: perhaps, the most genius idea ever borne.

Now don’t get me wrong. We love our children, and (mostly) love traveling with them — they’re good kids, they’re fun to be around, and they’re good little flyers. Our oldest has flown so much over his short lifespan that he can practically recite the airplane safety procedures specifically customized for each airline.

But being married with young kids means abbreviating your conversations to “just the facts ma’am” exchanges, blurted out like machine gun fire before the next interruption. It means scheduling sex with same efficiency you book the garbage disposal repair guy or an appointment with a podiatrist. It means playing BEAT THE CLOCK any time you go out to a restaurant, so that you can suck down your linguini and pay the check before someone starts howling.

This is why, for once, my husband and I decided to make the trip alone.

By the time we hit the airport, we felt as free as a couple of escaped mental patients — laughing and joking like old times. By the time we made it to the hotel, we were holding hands and actually FLIRTING with each other. (Shocking, I know. For all you married folks shaking your heads in disbelief, I could hardly believe it myself.) It was almost like we were in love, not just two cohabitating, co-parents passing in the night, connected only by offspring, soccer schedules and a garage that needs to be cleaned out.

As we made our way to the Academy grounds, we spotted a group of fit, square-jawed octegenarians riding pink Segways. (Class of ’47) Every one of them looked like they could drop and give me fifty, or run twenty miles without breaking a sweat. We walked on the campus, and my husband shared little antecdotes about the chapel and the dorm, the formal hall, and the bizarre polishing rituals of the bronze goat.

That night, we met up with some of his classmates at a local pub, an amazing group of men and women who, fifteen years later, are at the top of their respective fields. Most of them are still in service to their country, some in the Navy or Marines, others have joined the FBI, the CIA or corparate America. Most of them, as my husband does, still sport the short hair from their Academy days.

I was struck, as I spoke with these classmates of my husband, by the quality of men, and women. (My husband’s graduating class was comprised of only 10% women, now nearly 25% of the student population is female.) This group was good looking, physically spectacular, and one of the smartest group of people I’d encountered in a lifetime.

Seeing the Mids march, sharing the best chocolate milkshake on the planet at Chick and Ruth’s , watching the football team as they practiced on the field where my husband used to play, reminded me of what a catch he is.

I’m not sure if it was all of the cues of youth (the football game, the hotties in uniform, the fact that we spent three nights in a row hanging out with friends in a bar) or the fact that we had long, lesiurely luches at restaurants that don’t serve chicken nuggets, or a hotel bed all to to oursleves that did the trick.

Whether it was one thing, or a combination, I remembered all the reasons why I fell in love with my husband in the first place.

On the way back, our flight was full, and Tom and I considered whether or not to let the airline bump us for a later flight, just to make the weekend last a little longer. While the idea of getting bumped from your plane with children is a terrifying experience that spells certain doom in the form of a snack shortage, a severly disrupted sleep schedule and possibly running out of entertainment options (and, God forbid, battery power on the portable DVD player) before your plane ever leaves the tarmac — for once, getting bumped seemed like it might just be a good thing.

Lisa

** by the way, if you ever start to lose your faith in men, I highly recommend attending a class reunion at the Naval Academy. You’ll meet the smartest, most decent group of people you’ve ever encountered.

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Lisa Daily is a real-life TV dating expert on Daytime. She's a syndicated relationships columnist, a popular media guest seen everywhere from MTV to the New York Times, and the author of the bestselling dating advice book, Stop Getting Dumped! : All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. Visit lisa online at www.lisadaily.com

14 thoughts on “Please Bump Me by Deb Lisa

  1. You are so SMART to do this, Lisa. My husband and I never went anywhere until our oldest was 12 (partly because we were broke and we had the third child and we didn’t have grandparents willing to watch the kids). But going away is great for your marriage and it sounds like you had a GREAT time! Enjoyed reading about it! Thanks!

  2. Great post, Lisa! Your description of marriage with kids is bang on and you’re so right about the need to take time away with your husband.

  3. Thanks all – I truly appreciate the comments.

    Especially since I was hopped up on Benadryl last night when I wrote this. (Too much shellfish on the Maryland trip, seriously — lips swelled to the size of Cleveland) It’s almost shocking that I was able to come to a point. Or the end of a sentence.

    Eileen – I’m certain that must be true. 🙂

    Thanks, girls.

    Lisa

  4. So much fun to read about the great weekend you and your husband had at Annapolis. And you always make me laugh with your descriptions of life with children–your observations and comments are right on the mark. Congratulations on your getaway!!

    P.S. How are the lips???

  5. Good post. A couple thoughts:
    – Time away and alone is so important. I need to remind the mother of my children (uh, I mean my wife) of that.
    – The percentage of women at the Naval Academy is thought provoking.
    – If lack of chicken nuggets truly improves sex lives, I will never eat at another fast food restaurant again. This better be true!!!!!

    Pat

  6. Oh good greif!

    You spent the weekend romancing your husband at a Naval Academy reunion. What is this an Officer and Gentleman – part 2?

    If you hadn’t previously posted comments about getting into trouble for using the word crap, and how you stay up all night in your half-crazed low-budget pr frenzy, I might think you were too perfect too like.

    But, uggh, heavy sigh, you’re right beling alone with your husband can remind you of why you married him in the first place.

    I’m reading between the lines here, and guessing that this weekend might have even included some sex, and perhaps even more than once, so I;m sure he is equally enamored, and probaby would have been if you had just spent the entire weekend in the hotel.

    I sure hope my husband doesn’t read this blog and get any crazy ideas about whisking me away for a weekend of sea food, dancing, drinks, and a bunch of guys who still have halfway flat abs and decent manners.

    Because heaven knows, the last thing I want to do in my marriage is actually enjoy it.

    Lisa McLeod
    aka dis-illusioned married mother of two.

  7. Lisa — thanks for your comments.

    And GAWD, the last thing I intended was to go all “Kathie Lee Gifford” on you guys. 🙂

    I promise, I’ll be crankier next week.

    Lisa

  8. Your mom must be an angel! Good for you for taking time to nourish your relationship with your sweetheart. Isn’t it wonderful to be reminded of why you fell in love and married him in the first place?

    I think I’ll go make some reservations for a romantic weekend away – you have inspired me!!!

  9. I got a kick out of reading your adventure-you see a few years ago I was that mom with 4 kids under 6. Now they are all leaving home-to go to the Naval Academy. Two of my boys have already graduated and my daughter is in her third year. If you get the opportunity to return as the mom of mids you will be amazed at the young men and women who will be your childrens’ shipmates. It is an awesome place. I never dreamed in those long early days of mothering they would end up part of that legacy.Now when my husband and I go visit we celebrate 28 years of marriage and pride in our children-many wonderful memories!

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