When I set out on this exciting writing endeavour
I sought fame and glory to last me forever.
Back in the dark ages, long before thoughts of the web
I had nothing published and no dreams of ever being a Deb
I plodded on, in my solitary pursuit
With not a soul to talk to, I might as well have been mute.
Times weren’t like now, where by just hitting send
My message will hurl ‘cross miles to a friend
These days, before I can even think about work
Three emails pop in making writing easy to shirk.
Please don’t get me started on distractions galore
Like Facebook and Twitter, I can’t take any more
Friends from my past and new followers each day
Only 140 characters to say what I say?
When I’m not tweeting, I’m writing a novel
For my autograph someday (May 13th), many will grovel
While it’s true that YA has always been my real passion
It’s all about getting published, in the past I did I ration
YA was passé when I first started out
So I looked to the market and charted my route
The Picture Book was selling like hotcakes, oh so chic and so vogue
So I tried these simplest of tales, but somehow my stories always went rogue
How hard could they be? I asked after every editor’s “Pass!”
They’re 32 pages, an easy form, my ass!
Picture Books are terribly deceiving to the eye
They might look very simple, as easy as pie
But that’s all an illusion, they’re truly fine art
And fantastical drawings can’t fix the writing part
Despite all my perseverance, editors’ answers never did vary
“Stop sending us crap, and for God’s sake burn that rhyming dictionary!”
While it’s true that I did start out writing picture books, and one of the first things I bought was a rhyming dictionary, I never thought they would be easy. And I did my homework, reading and enjoying hundreds of picture books. But then I realized I’m just too long winded to write something so elegant and short.
Oh, and there was also the fact that an editor, after turning down a half a dozen of my stories, finally sent me a personal letter, one where she asked me take her off my submissions list – forever. And just in case I found a creative way to interpret this personal note as some sort of encouragement, she also included this sentence: If in future you wish to avoid this editor’s ire, try using your stories to start the fire.