My husband will say it’s just me, but I think we’re technologically challenged in our house. To be fair, in his case it’s by choice whereas in mine, it’s, well, just my nature.
Today, for example, when my printer wouldn’t work, here’s what I did: I opened it and closed it, turned it on and off, turned the computer on and off, took the paper out and put it back in and then, bringing out the big guns, I took it off the desk, looked at the back of it, turned it upside down, then put it back. After that, it worked.
We have two TVs, one twenty-three years old and the other about ten. I refuse to have either TV on the main floor because it’s such a conversation killer and my husband (aka The Oppressor—see previous posts) would drive us both around the bend because he likes to watch more than one program at a time and is an incorrigible channel flipper. So, one TV is in the basement (on top of a box of my oppressed books) and the other is on the third floor.
And…we don’t have cable. Shocking, especially for thirty-five-year-old urbanites, but we decided we could do without it for a couple of years. We get two channels, which means a decent amount of programming and two national newscasts, plus we can rent whatever we want on DVD, so we’re only moderately out of the loop.
Sadly, in addition to having ancient TVs and no cable, we have bad reception. We tried the rabbit ear things, (which didn’t work,) then we held the unconnected cable, contorted our bodies and held them in awkward positions trying to get and keep a clear picture. In the end, the only thing that works is holding the very end of the cable and having the metal pokey-thing touching someone’s bare skin. My husband gets a perfect picture this way, just by pressing the pokey-thing to his thumb. He can even get it to work by sticking it between his leg and the couch, should he, for example, want to massage my shoulders, drink some beer or throw a ball for the dog. For some reason though, I get bad reception, no matter what position I sit in or how hard I press that darned thing onto my thumb, so if I want to watch TV, I need it hooked up to my hubby. (And what does that say about me?!)
Finally, we’ve recently also lost the remote. There are two other remotes hanging around looking like they need a job, but even with fresh batteries, they can’t seem to do it. We may be the only people left in North America who have to get up off the couch to change the channel.
I realize this is a sad state of affairs and occasionally we get all worked up with plans to get TIVO and an LCD, flat screen, whatever-you-call-it with lovely speakers and so-on. But we also still have two DVD players and two VCRs and we’re the chumps buying up the videos for 99 cents when the local video store has their going-out-of-business sale. And part of me thinks we should just wait until someone can beam CSI and Grey’s Anatomy straight into our brains because no matter what we buy, it will be out of date before we even get it out of the store.
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