The Boob Belt by Deb Eileen

What can I say about aging that my fellow debs haven’t already so eloquently mentioned? Instead I will provide a brief pro and con list on aging.

Cons of getting older:

If my breasts drop any lower I will soon be able to tuck them into my pants and belt them in, instead of worrying about a bra.

Eventually I will run out of time to read all the books I want to finish, places I want to travel, and things I want to accomplish.

Due to all kinds of boring adult responsibilities, I am less likely to chuck it all and travel around the world. Too hard to get a dog sitter for that long.

Being in bed by ten seems WAY more attractive then leaving the dance clubs in time to see the sunrise.

The ability to pull off wearing the cool hip styles drops yearly. No one wants to see grandma in low rise pants. Further- interest in wearing fashionable clothing reduces and elastic pants seem more
attractive (especially since my boobs are tucked in there).

Pros of getting older:

I spend more time enjoying what I am doing or saying, versus wondering what others think or worrying about having something in my teeth, or my skirt tucked into my pantyhose.

I no longer have to look through the sofa cushions to find quarters if I want to do laundry.

My palate is more refined, versus being able to only tell the difference between Ramen noodles beef or chicken flavor.

No bed time, curfew or homework.

No one to say, “do you think you’re leaving the house in that outfit?”

If I don’t want to eat Brussels sprouts no one can make me (admit it- they look like the amputated thumb of the Jolly Green Giant).

When I do travel I can now afford to stay in places that are not at imminent risk of being condemned.

Getting older may mean that I have less time, but I spend that time with the people and things that matter.

What is one thing you want to accomplish, or place you want to travel to, before you die?

7 Replies to “The Boob Belt by Deb Eileen”

  1. I adore Brussel sprouts and am happy that I can now eat them as often as I like. The peak of my day today just might be when I toss them over a carpet of warm butternut squash for lunch.

    Wait, I sound like I’m 90…

  2. Well, while we’re on the subject, I have to say that I am very grateful for elastic pants …

    I want to someday actually be able to make a living from this writing thing, preferably without the emotional angst.

  3. I’m going to steal Mia’s wish as I get older. Making a living from writing. That would rock. I’m beginning to believe that doing it without the emotional angst, though, is beyond my wildest dreams. Maybe accepting my emotional angst as part of my process?

    Love the tucking the boobs in the pants line Eileen. You crack me up. As the shortest waisted person on the planet (did that make sense?) I have a feeling my boobs are destined for my waistband. In fact, even in high school, when high waisted slacks were in fashion, the waistline of most slacks would easily overlap with my bra strap. Me, I LOVE low waisted jeans. But because they come up over my waist while staying a few degrees south of the bra-strap line.

  4. I snorted coffee out of my nose when I read this. Luckily for you, it was actually warm here today, so it was ICED coffee — so I won’t be suing.

    I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle — oh, and be able to afford one.

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