I suck at math. I really do. I’m not afraid to admit I still count on my fingers, stomp my feet like a counting horse when I run out of digits, and suffer from debilitating panic attacks when anything remotely math related rears its ugly head. In school, math class was a daily heave-inducing stress-fest. I hid behind my classmates hoping the teacher wouldn’t call on me. When I did get called on, my hand trembled at the chalkboard. During tests, I wrote answers with blue pen on my hand, but was thwarted by severe nervous sweating, and resorted to cheating off my friend Margaret (kind soul) who purposely never covered her answers with her elbow (yeah, I know, I’m not proud of it either.)
These days, my son’s pleas to help him with his math homework send me right back to grade school…my mouth runs dry and I immediately become light-headed –and he’s only in 1st grade! What will become of me when he’s breaking out algebra, or my true kryptonite –CALCULUS!
As the old saying goes, “When God’s shuts a door, he opens a window.” I wasn’t gifted or remotely enjoy the world of numbers, equations, and hieroglyphic symbols, but I adore the written word. English is the mayo in my turkey sandwich, and luckily it doesn’t clog my arteries and set me up for coronary thrombosis (also known as a heart attack).
See, a word like thrombosis is a total turn on! According to my online dictionary, a thrombosis is: the obstruction of blood flow in a coronary artery by a blood clot or (thrombus). Yay! We all learned something new just then, and someday you might find that knowledge useful, like in a discussion with your physician for example.
On the other hand, I can guarantee with all certainty I’ve never had a conversation where someone said “Hey Maria, if train A leaves Chicago traveling 100MPH and train B leaves New York traveling 150MPH and the distance between the two cites is 600 miles how far from New York will it be when the two trains meet?”
Yep, English rules. Dictionaries are sacred, and math is just yucky.
5 Replies to “The Dictionary; My Bible.”
I completely agree…whenever anyone asks me anything related to math I say…that’s why I am a librarian…I know Dewey and that’s all I need. I love the written word. My husband is the exact opposite so it makes it nice…I never have to do the math at home…and he never has to deal with the writing…=)
I know how you feel. My kids are in high school. They math is crazy. Are they ever going to use this is “real life”?
Thrombosis! It’s got a nice rhythm to it. Sorry to say, I like math! But my oldest son blows me away in it – he’s really gifted at math, I’m just so-so. I can’t help him with his homework, either. He’s way beyond me!
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