Oh, the odd talents I have! Circuses have come beating on my door, Ripley’s calls weekly, neighborhood kids run screaming. But I have to keep up some sort of mystique, and so I’m going off-topic this week. What is so fascinating that I have to leave you all hanging, wondering about my odd talents?
But first, let me tell you that I am not the reality TV blogger on the site. That honor belongs to Deb Anna, and she does a marvelous job of it at Reality Check. But this week really made me want to talk about it. Specifically, about Jonathan.
Now, Jonathan has been a little intriguing right from the start, mostly because if you close your eyes you can easily replace Jonathan with Alan Alda and imagine Hawkeye Pierce(sorry, I can’t deal with the Same Time, Next Year Alan Alda) stepping off that mat to join Candice “I’ll never get off Exile Island” Woodcock.
But what intrigues me even more is that little occupation tag they throw on after his name: Writer. A quick online search of Jonathan Penner reveals the facts that he is, indeed, a writer of screenplays, that he also acts, and that my Alan Alda vocal comparison is not nearly as original as I thought.
And this “writer” tag got me to thinking about something I’d asked J.T. Ellison earlier this week during her Good Girls Kill cocktail party: Are writers inherently good liars? She said yes, and I think I tend to agree. After all, writers should have a facility with language, important when you’re lying. Lies need to roll off the tongue, no stuttering.
And lying requires a certain amount of imagination, like writing, because why do people lie to begin with? Most people lie to avoid trouble, whatever “trouble” means to that person. So for them to realize that a lie is called for, they must have imagined what the consequences would be if they didn’t lie.
Despite the fact that most people seem to loath him, Jonathan is surviving. The thing about Survivor is that it’s a TV show, a game. Jonathan: Writer, could win. It’s not bloody likely, but he actually could. Has there been a winner of Survivor who didn’t lie?
But the fact is, no matter how logical the parallels people want to draw between Survivor and real life are, in real life the liars never win. Not in the long run. In the long run, the liars wind up alone, and angry, and wondering, bitterly, how they got there. Writers might be good liars, but most of us, I hope, know where our profession ends and real life begins.