You Don’t Scare Me… okay, yes you do by Deb Eileen

I can remember one of the first times that I knew I wanted to be a writer. I was young- I’m going to guess around 11 or 12. I was at the library and had gathered my weekly haul full of Choose Your Own Adventure books and possibly a Judy Blume or two. I was waiting for my mom and I wandered into the adult section of the library. I pulled a Stephen King book off the shelf- Salem’s Lot. Think Our Town meets Dracula. On a whim, I added it to my stack and went downstairs to check out.

Our hometown librarian was a serious woman with almost no lips at all that she would keep pressed into a thin pale line. She must have saved millions on lipstick. She took the books from me and then held out the King book as if I had handed her a warm bag of dog poop. “You don’t want this book,” she said. “This is a nasty book.” Instantly my desire to read this book grew by a factor of a thousand. I turned to my mom for back up. My mom took the book, read the back and then said to me. “This is a scary book. It’s all make believe, but it might be scary. Do you think you can read it and keep in mind that it is pretend?” I assured her given I was now a worldly wise age in the double digits, I could read the book without being scared. My mom gave her approval and to the librarians great dislike I was allowed to get the Stephen King book. I felt very mature as I walked out of the library with my first adult book. To think that I would be scared of a book. Words on paper. Made up stories. Pfffft.

That book scared the pants off of me. I can remember sitting up in bed straining my eyes to see through the dark as I waited for the vampires to come and get me. My ears were trained to a razor sharp awareness as I tried to tell if the sound I heard was the furnace turning off or the soft hot breath of the undead. I knew I couldn’t go into my parent’s room because I had told my mom I wouldn’t be scared. I would have to tough it out on my own.

I knew the book was pretend. I knew that someone, this King fellow, had made all of it up. How could he make something up, and make it so tangible that it felt real? How cool would that be? To make your own world and invite other people inside? To make them feel whatever you wanted them to feel?

In that instant I knew I wanted to be a writer too…. unless the vampires got to me first…

10 thoughts on “You Don’t Scare Me… okay, yes you do by Deb Eileen

  1. Oh, Carrie (the movie) scared the pants off of me. And The Shining (the movie).
    My first really scary book–Jaws. Stayed up all night with the lights on reading it because I was too scared to go to sleep. A shark! A shark scared me awake!

  2. Oh, Stephen King scares the pants off me too! I really like his writing but the books fill me with so much dread I can hardly stand it.

    Great post, Eileen.

  3. i love king, but he isn’t allowed in my house. he’s scared (scarred?!) me early on in life and to this day i get a shiver when i see his books. but long live the king!

  4. Ha! What a cool mom you have. And that librarian sounds like tons of fun.

    I first read King in sixth grade. His collection NIGHT SHIFT, and then I moved on to a whole slew of his novels. I remember reading CUJO when I was 12 and actually having the thought: Hmmm, I wonder if I should be reading this. Good thing my parents don’t know this scene’s in the book!

  5. King’s Misery scared the bejeepers out of me. I finished it one night at about 3 in the morning and had to leave the light on. I’m actually surprised it didn’t ruin my desire to be a writer.

  6. Larraime-Very good question.

    I’ve never read Stephen King’s fiction books(I’ve read On Writing, but refuse to venture out). I’ve accepted a very long time ago my imagination is too vivid for books like that. I’ve owned Pet Cemetary for 7 years and never read it.

  7. Great post! I have a funny story about a Stephen King book — I was reading a collection of short stories at work one night in college (slow night at a phone bank) — the story was about a doctor who finds himslef stranded on a deserted island with only his medical bag. He’s hungry, he has a full supply of morphine and a bone saw — you get the picture. The scene was so vivid to me, I actually passed out and fell backwards in my chair. When I came to, I was lying on the floor, surrounded by paramedics.

    I never read another King novel again, I’m too visual and his writing is too vivid for me to stomach. I did, however, read ON WRITING, which I loved. He’s such a talented writer, and I so enjoyed his work, it makes me a little sad I can’t read any more of it. But hey, I like to remain conscious.

    Call me crazy.

    Lisa

  8. I made the BIG mistake of reading King’s “Pet Cemetary” one night, sitting up in bed. When I put the book aside on my nightstand and turned off the light, I could NOT get to sleep. I had to get out of bed and put the book in the other room – – there was no way I could go to sleep with that book in the same room with me!

    Scared the stuffin’s out of me . . .

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