When I decided I wanted to be a professional writer, I was eleven years old, and at that time, it seemed utterly impossible that I wouldn’t be famous by the time I finished high school. I mean, that seemed like plenty of time. Seven years? That was more than half my life so far! In many of the stories written during those pre-teen and early-teen years, the main characters died…
My bad habit is something I’ve by now given up. Well, mostly. Swearing. It’s coarse, tacky, definitely unladylike … but let’s face it, nothing vents pressure like letting fly with a really satisfying curse. The apex of my swearing history occurred during my news reporter days when, in certain situations, I would swear like a merchant marine. I’m a little ashamed to admit this when I consider certain people who…
One of my habits is to turn back to old favorites in times of stress. I suppose this is like “comfort food”. There are certain movies I’ve watched so many times I can recite whole scenes, for example. I laugh before I get to the funny parts because I know they’re coming and laugh again when they happen. There’s comfort in that. I do something similar with books. I’m reading…
Hello, my name is Kristina, and I’m an extrovert. I love parties, even if there are lots of people I don’t know. I even enjoy small talk. I sometimes go into what my husband calls “reporter mode” when I meet a new person, trying to draw out their life story, one anecdote at a time. I’m not intimidated by crowds, or public speaking. In fact, when it goes well, I…
Excerpt from REAL LIFE & LIARS: For a time, Van had a poster of his hero taped on his apartment wall. Bob Dylan stared down at him every night and every morning, heavy-lidded, cigarette drooping. Then Van got drunk and whiskey and self-pity one night and ripped it down, and in the blazing light of morning, through his hangover fog, he’d noticed that the paint had faded all around where…
As Independence Day has just passed, I’ve been thinking about independence from stuff. Three years ago, we moved into this house in a rush. We’d been renting the back half of a lady’s house and with our then three-year-old, it seemed frightfully small. So we rushed out of that apartment as quickly as possible and threw our possessions into the house in every nook and cranny. Also, we had saved…
Dear Kris, Stop taking yourself so seriously. No really. Stop it. Look, I know you feel like everything you do now will reverberate down through the decades and color your entire life, but guess what? You’re going to have babies and do other cool things that have nothing to do with the fact you slept through introductory geology on Friday morning. Believe me. I oughta know. See, that fiasco the…
Once upon a time, I thought I was above a certain level of humor. Then my husband (then boyfriend) insisted I watch “Airplane!” I rolled my eyes at the dumb puns, wacky antics and over-the-top physical comedy. A giggle would try to sneak out sometimes, but I’d swallow it down. It was just so…dumb. Then there was this one scene. A character is describing the deathbed speech of a guy…
My best vacation ever came out of my only regret. It was 1996, or maybe 1997, and my husband and I were poverty-stricken newlyweds living in a dodgy apartment (we once came home to find police surrounding one of the buildings, and later heard there were shots fired and people seen fleeing out of windows). Bruce worked at night, which meant in the evenings I was ready for happy hour…
Here I am, in 1996, minutes after graduating from Michigan State University. I’d been trying to find my family – this was before everyone had a cell phone to track each other down, we had to actually search – and when I spotted them, I came running and struck a pose: Ta da! I did it! That’s my soon-to-be husband, there, laughing at my goofball joy. I look like something…
