Welcome to the world, MWF Seeking BFF! Not only are you pretty, but you’re smart and have a great personality. IOW, all the best book-ish attributes. You are going to rock bookshelves all over the world!
(Er, sorry for blatantly anthropomorphizing, but books have always been my best friends, and it seemed especially appropriate in this case.)
Reading MWF Seeking BFF made me wish I lived close enough to give Rachel a call to arrange an impromptu meet-up for drinks. In fact, the whole time I was reading I felt like I was hearing the dish directly from Rachel’s lips, while sipping chilled white wine and giggling over her experiences. In other words, pure fun!
(Yeah, right, so I was sipping white wine while I read. And maybe nibbling on chocolate. Good books invite the right atmosphere. It’s part of the total reading experience.)
I worried at first that I might have a little difficulty relating to the book, because I’m *cough* a tiny bit older than Rachel. (Okay, she’s closer to my daughter’s age than mine. There, I said it.) But a few pages in I realized the age thing wasn’t going to matter at all. The experiences Rachel describes are supremely entertaining – and educational – no matter how old you are.
Apparently, the quest for friendship is transgenerational.
The thing I kept thinking about while I read was Rachel’s marriage. Her husband. I loved how she stressed the importance of not demanding your spouse provide you with every last thing you need in the way emotional support from other people. Expecting one other person to be your all is…well, not really fair, is it? I know I like to think I’m doing my husband a favor when I let off a little “crazy writer steam” with my friends instead of dumping it all on him, and I’m pretty sure he appreciates it.
(Ha. He’s probably thinking he gets enough of the “crazy writer” BS even after I’ve already let off steam with my gal pals. What can I say? It’s all about the balance. *grin*)
So, my question for Rachel: In the book you touched a bit on how your husband felt about the whole process, and noted how supportive he was during your year of friend dating. Was there anything about his take on your year of dating you didn’t cover in the book? Did he ever want you to chuck the whole thing, for instance?
Rachel’s Brilliant Answer: No! He NEVER wanted me to chuck the whole thing. Even when I was exhausted and all I wanted was for him to say “chuck the whole thing.” Seriously. There were times where I was like “Too much dating!” and he was all “gotta make friends! Get to it!” Honestly one reason he was so supportive–almost TOO supportive during those times when I just wanted to hide in bed–was that the search was directly benefiting him. We didn’t fight much before, but after I found gal pals to do the whole gossip and girl-talk thing with, we fought even less. Probably because I wasn’t trying to force him to do the girl-talking. I used to try to get from him what I needed from a BFF. Once I found women for that, it improved our relationship. Also, for two and a half years he’d listened to me complain about not having BFFs nearby or having no one to go to brunch with. Suddenly I found some, and the complaining stopped. He got a much happier wife.
He did used to tease me about how busy I was. I’d tell him my plans for the night and he’d say “ok, well see you in 2011.” He didn’t want me to stop the search, but I think there might have been times where he wondered why he hadn’t seen his wife in a week!
Fantastic answer, Rachel. I know MWF Seeking BFF is going to take off and soar. Enjoy the ride!
How about you guys? Do you ever go out on “friend dates”? Have you ever had to “break up” with a friend, or (horrors!) been dumped by one?