Deb Linda Loves a Friend Date With a Good Book

Welcome to the world, MWF Seeking BFF! Not only are you pretty, but you’re smart and have a great personality. IOW, all the best book-ish attributes. You are going to rock bookshelves all over the world!

(Er, sorry for blatantly anthropomorphizing, but books have always been my best friends, and it seemed especially appropriate in this case.)

Reading MWF Seeking BFF made me wish I lived close enough to give Rachel a call to arrange an impromptu meet-up for drinks. In fact, the whole time I was reading I felt like I was hearing the dish directly from Rachel’s lips, while sipping chilled white wine and giggling over her experiences. In other words, pure fun!

(Yeah, right, so I was sipping white wine while I read. And maybe nibbling on chocolate. Good books invite the right atmosphere. It’s part of the total reading experience.)

I worried at first that I might have a little difficulty relating to the book, because I’m *cough* a tiny bit older than Rachel. (Okay, she’s closer to my daughter’s age than mine. There, I said it.) But a few pages in I realized the age thing wasn’t going to matter at all. The experiences Rachel describes are supremely entertaining – and educational – no matter how old you are.

Apparently, the quest for friendship is transgenerational.

The thing I kept thinking about while I read was Rachel’s marriage. Her husband. I loved how she stressed the importance of not demanding your spouse provide you with every last thing you need in the way emotional support from other people. Expecting one other person to be  your all is…well, not really fair, is it? I know I like to think I’m doing my husband a favor when I let off a little “crazy writer steam” with my friends instead of dumping it all on him, and I’m pretty sure he appreciates it.

(Ha. He’s probably thinking he gets enough of the “crazy writer” BS even after I’ve already let off steam with my gal pals. What can I say? It’s all about the balance. *grin*)

So, my question for Rachel: In the book you touched a bit on how your husband felt about the whole process, and noted how supportive he was during your year of friend dating. Was there anything about his take on your year of dating you didn’t cover in the book? Did he ever want you to chuck the whole thing, for instance?

Rachel’s Brilliant Answer: No! He NEVER wanted me to chuck the whole thing. Even when I was exhausted and all I wanted was for him to say “chuck the whole thing.” Seriously. There were times where I was like “Too much dating!” and he was all “gotta make friends! Get to it!” Honestly one reason he was so supportive–almost TOO supportive during those times when I just wanted to hide in bed–was that the search was directly benefiting him. We didn’t fight much before, but after I found gal pals to do the whole gossip and girl-talk thing with, we fought even less. Probably because I wasn’t trying to force him to do the girl-talking. I used to try to get from him what I needed from a BFF. Once I found women for that, it improved our relationship. Also, for two and a half years he’d listened to me complain about not having BFFs nearby or having no one to go to brunch with. Suddenly I found some, and the complaining stopped. He got a much happier wife.

He did used to tease me about how busy I was. I’d tell him my plans for the night and he’d say “ok, well see you in 2011.” He didn’t want me to stop the search, but I think there might have been times where he wondered why he hadn’t seen his wife in a week!


Fantastic answer, Rachel. I know MWF Seeking BFF is going to take off and soar. Enjoy the ride!


How about you guys? Do you ever go out on “friend dates”? Have you ever had to “break up” with a friend, or (horrors!) been dumped by one?

27 Replies to “Deb Linda Loves a Friend Date With a Good Book”

    1. I think you’d really love it! Not only is it a great study in human nature and friendship, but it’s also a darned FUN read. 🙂

    1. Hi Judy.. I totally know what you mean. And while Internet friends are FAB (like my fellow debs!!) there’s definitely a good argument to be made for a few in-person pals. They’re vital to our health and happiness!

  1. Thank you so much Linda! And to all my Debs for making this week so special. I had to laugh, Linda, when you mentioned anthropomorphizing. I was talking to a friend the other day and I said “so I was visiting my book today…” and she said, “I love how you visit your book like a puppy in a pet store.” But I do! For me, it’s my baby. Since Tuesday I have gone twice a day just to see it and be like, “oh look how cute you are, out in the world!” I hope I never get used to it!

  2. Oooh, sounds like a good book. I like fun reads too.
    My mom is a good sounding board for me. I have to tell my hubby “abbreviated” versions of stories, where I can tell her the whole thing including the 30 min lead up to the story and any tangents I need to go off on. LOL!!

  3. What a wonderful post, Linda! There’s no question this week has had me thinking A LOT about friends–making them and keeping them and how hard it can be.

    What a great week it’s been–so proud and pleased for our Deb Rachel. Hope everyone has a glorious holiday filled with good food, good cheer and of course, good FRIENDS 😉

    1. Thanks, Erika! Yeah, I’m so proud of Deb Rachel, too. First you and your wonderful launch, and now Rachel. We’re well on our way here in Deb Land. 🙂

  4. I’m with Judy (cubed) and Jen Stayrook. I need the manual. Hey, is there a match dot com of friendship? It’s probably in the book, right?

    Congratulations on your anthropomorphized book going out into the world to make it’s own new friends, Rachel!

    1. Deb Rachel’s book is more about making the traditional, in-person friends. Which is great, because a lot of us (guilty!) spend so much time online we tend to neglect our real life connections. MWF Seeking BFF is great inspiration to get out there in the world more!

  5. I don’t do a ton of friend dates. I will grab a cup of coffee or lunch once in a while and I definitely don’t go out on the town for a Girls Only night. I’m pushing the “look like a hussy” age. 🙂 I get some girls only time with my book club and that works for me. My husband and I have more friend couples so we tend to hang out together.

    My best friend just came for a visit and she was so disheartened by the lack of friends she had since moving to her current city. She hasn’t clicked with any of the other moms and since her visit I have seen this book blogged about twice in two days! It’s a sign that she needs it. So glad you recommended it! It is going to be her post-Christmas gift!

    1. Great! I think she’ll really like it — there are all sorts of great tips blanketed within the highly amusing recounts of Deb Rachel’s friend dates. 🙂

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