Rumors (and not of the Fleetwood Mac Variety) by Deb Kristy

There is a terrible and untrue rumor out there about moi, Debutante Kristy. The rumor goes something like this: “Oh that Kristy, she’s so organiiiized!” (Said in your best Cyndi Lauper voice.)

Let us put this vicious rumor to rest once and for all, shall we? You see, The Debutante Ball has a topic each week, and that has worked out quite nicely since we started dancing. But we’ve discussed some changes to the site and one of our projects is to streamline our topics. That was supposed to happen this month.

Yeaaah. See, things got away from me, and a last minute e-mail from the Debs asked me to clarify exactly what was happening. Is this week The Writing Life or Current Living Conditions?! My reply was something magnanimous and brilliant along the lines of, “Um, it’s whatever you want it to be.”

So today I’ll be blogging about My Current Writing Life Living Conditions. Because I know you’re fascinated and have been debating this amongst yourselves for months.

We thought we might put our house on the market a few months ago, so we did a lot…A LOT…of work on it. It was so spiffy and beautiful, all paint-fumey and white base-boardy. And we broke down our office/work-out room and made it into another bedroom, bought a dresser and everything. Then we had a big garage sale and sold all of the office/work-out room stuff, because we had no room to store it, and it was getting awfully grungy anyway.

And then everyone in the whole neighborhood put their house on the market.

So we changed our minds. Clearly, it was not the time to sell. During this time I was writing at my kitchen counter on a laptop. This is a bad idea. Because what happens is you start getting sharp, shooting pains down your right arm and you’re pretty convinced that maybe it’s a heart attack, but because you’re so backward anyway it’s obviously bothering your right arm instead of your left. And there’s also a lot of tingling and weakness.

Luckily, before a foray to the emergency room, cooler head (yep, just one) prevailed and said something like, “It’s because you’re sitting at your kitchen counter writing on your lap top…idiot.” Ahhhh, wisdom dawneth. And the cooler head was correct, because when I worked in bed for a couple of days, sure enough, the backward heart attack went away completely.

But then what happens when you write in bed? Well, for one thing your back starts to hurt, and for another, you start to fall asleep at odd times during the day, completely blowing your already tenuous insistence that, no, really, you’re working! Plus your feet get hot. I have no idea why.

So, what could the answer be?


You buy a new desk, break down your pretty new bedroom that you don’t need now anyway, and turn the room back into an office/work-out room. Which you’ll only have to completely reverse when you do finally put your house on the market.

So, can we finally extinguish this whole “organized” rumor? I mean, I have loads of these stories. I am a mess, a wreck, a bonehead.

But at least I’m not having a backward heart attack.

9 Replies to “Rumors (and not of the Fleetwood Mac Variety) by Deb Kristy”

  1. Hmmm. Okay, I’m not entirely convinced but am willing to let it go at your request. 😉

    After all:

    1. You started the Debutante Ball.
    2. You meticulously researched and picked five other debut authors to join you.
    3. You contacted us.
    4. You set the ground rules.
    5. You set up the site.
    6. You used your southern charm to not only hook us in, but managed to get us all excited and, in the case of Deb Eileen, made her promise her husband all sorts of favors so that he could help us redesign the site.
    7. You keep us posted on the latest news about OUR books.
    8. You find great new friends for the Debs.
    9. You smooth the wrinkles.
    10. Even when you swear, you’re nice.

    So you’re not organized. Whatever you say!

  2. Yeah, whatever Kristy, I’m not convinced, but you’re such a sweetie I’ll buy whatever you’re selling. Well, except for your house.

    Glad you weren’t having a heart attack. You might want to try writing on a porch (even mine–you’ve got a standing invitation!), sitting in an adirondack chair, with your feet up and your beverage of choice at hand. It works for me and I’ve never thought I was having a heart attack while doing so.

  3. Heart attack? No. Anxiety attack? Plenty. Like you, if I were to write in bed, I’d be asleep within minutes. The only way I can make progress is by sitting at a desk.

    As for organized, well, Kristy, you may or may not be, but there’s no denying you’re extremely productive. Last week I was in a bookstore, reading first pages and the occasional acknowledgment, and guess whose name I saw again and again. *Kristy Kiernan* You’re not only productive on your own (Catching Genius and Faith just up at Publishers Marketplace!!!), but you help others be their best.

    Organized, maybe. Amazing, most definitely!

  4. Well, maybe you’re not “organized” but you are certainly not unorganized… and a backwards heart attack sounds fun…maybe?

  5. Oh, Kristy, whatever would we all do without you??? Although Mia offered a stellar list of some of your accomplishments, I think that Estella would describe you best as an “ordinary genius.” And we all know that such geniuses have their quirky (dis)organization! 😉

  6. uh-huh. This sounds exactly like what I would expect an organized person to say. Those of us who are truly disorganized don’t notice the shooting pains until our arms seize up.

  7. Oh, y’all! 😀 Well, any time I need a pick-me-up I’m going to say something awful about myself on The Ball!

    Kind AND funny, what more could you ask for?!

  8. That so funny but I’m sure it was very frustrating to you! Sounds like you have a bit of my luck. You fix your house up perfectly to sell and then everyone else puts theirs on the market. Yep, that sounds like my luck! Well at least with all the updates yours is probably the best house on the block now.

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