There is a terrible and untrue rumor out there about moi, Debutante Kristy. The rumor goes something like this: “Oh that Kristy, she’s so organiiiized!” (Said in your best Cyndi Lauper voice.)
Let us put this vicious rumor to rest once and for all, shall we? You see, The Debutante Ball has a topic each week, and that has worked out quite nicely since we started dancing. But we’ve discussed some changes to the site and one of our projects is to streamline our topics. That was supposed to happen this month.
Yeaaah. See, things got away from me, and a last minute e-mail from the Debs asked me to clarify exactly what was happening. Is this week The Writing Life or Current Living Conditions?! My reply was something magnanimous and brilliant along the lines of, “Um, it’s whatever you want it to be.”
So today I’ll be blogging about My Current Writing Life Living Conditions. Because I know you’re fascinated and have been debating this amongst yourselves for months.
We thought we might put our house on the market a few months ago, so we did a lot…A LOT…of work on it. It was so spiffy and beautiful, all paint-fumey and white base-boardy. And we broke down our office/work-out room and made it into another bedroom, bought a dresser and everything. Then we had a big garage sale and sold all of the office/work-out room stuff, because we had no room to store it, and it was getting awfully grungy anyway.
And then everyone in the whole neighborhood put their house on the market.
So we changed our minds. Clearly, it was not the time to sell. During this time I was writing at my kitchen counter on a laptop. This is a bad idea. Because what happens is you start getting sharp, shooting pains down your right arm and you’re pretty convinced that maybe it’s a heart attack, but because you’re so backward anyway it’s obviously bothering your right arm instead of your left. And there’s also a lot of tingling and weakness.
Luckily, before a foray to the emergency room, cooler head (yep, just one) prevailed and said something like, “It’s because you’re sitting at your kitchen counter writing on your lap top…idiot.” Ahhhh, wisdom dawneth. And the cooler head was correct, because when I worked in bed for a couple of days, sure enough, the backward heart attack went away completely.
But then what happens when you write in bed? Well, for one thing your back starts to hurt, and for another, you start to fall asleep at odd times during the day, completely blowing your already tenuous insistence that, no, really, you’re working! Plus your feet get hot. I have no idea why.
So, what could the answer be?
You buy a new desk, break down your pretty new bedroom that you don’t need now anyway, and turn the room back into an office/work-out room. Which you’ll only have to completely reverse when you do finally put your house on the market.
So, can we finally extinguish this whole “organized” rumor? I mean, I have loads of these stories. I am a mess, a wreck, a bonehead.
But at least I’m not having a backward heart attack.