Deb Elise Rejects This Topic Entirely

Kick outI don’t really reject the topic, I just liked that title.

The truth is, I’m actually embracing the topic.  I even try to embrace rejection, though I handle that better with some things than with others.

So in that spirit, I bring you my Ten Tales of Personal Rejection, in no particular order.  In most of them, I’m the rejected, but in a couple instances I’m the quite awful rejector.

Hey, it happens…

1. I was once rejected by a guy who told me he thought I was “more like a sister” to him.  Given the things he and I were doing before he made that proclamation, I worry about his family life.

2. I was rejected by EVERY SINGLE COLLEGE I applied to, except for my backup (which I attended and loved, but that’s not the point).

3. In high school, if a guy called me and I wasn’t interested, I’d hang up mid-conversation… but while I was talking, so it would seem like we got disconnected.  After all, who would hang up on herself?

4. When my agent and I excitedly sent my latest screenplay spec to our top-choice production company, the response was “Is this for real?”

5. I gave a wild, aerobically animated, twenty-minute TV show pitch to a woman who stared at a small square of blank wall, nodding constantly and saying “uh-huh” at regular ten-second intervals.  She did not buy the show.

6. A friend and I pitched our first show with the help of giant puppets we made and voiced ourselves.  We did not sell that show.

7. While writing for the show “Undressed,” I (appropriately, I thought) pitched that the writing staff have Pajama Day.  I was the only one to show up in pajamas.

8.  The boss at a company where I’d been an assistant for years promised he’d give me my first TV staff writing job… but instead gave it to the cousin of another writer on the show.

9. I once pretended to fall asleep on a date so the guy would take me home.

10. I’ve always been great at crossword puzzles, so as a teen I tried out for Wheel of Fortune.  I told everyone I’d get on Wheel of Fortune.  Then for some unknown reason I guessed  BR_ _ _ F_S_    _ _    B_ _   was “Brownfish in Bay,” not “Breakfast in Bed.”  I did not get on Wheel of Fortune.

Join the party!  What are your favorite tales of rejection?  Bring ’em on!

~Deb Elise

14 thoughts on “Deb Elise Rejects This Topic Entirely

  1. Brownfish in Bay was my favorite coming of age movie in the 80! Right after Fetish Bowlers Way Scoff. I also reject that rejection is bad – even though we feel like rejects when they happen.

    • I would reject your rejection of rejection just to use the word “rejection” some more, but I wholeheartedly agree. Rejection feels god-awful, but once you separate from the horror and look at it with clear eyes, it usually leads to a much better place. At the moment, I’d like that place to be Hawaii. Just sayin’.

  2. Elise, I was also rejected as a contestant on Wheel of Fortune, and I’m still bitter (I am so damn good at it). Weren’t you shocked by how rigorous the try-outs are? I had to go through three rounds and just didn’t make the final cut. Hmph!
    (PS Love your strategy for getting out of a date. Though rumors of you being narcoleptic are probably circulating. “Plus she really doesn’t seem capable of operating a phone,” some guys are probably telling themselves, trying to console themselves for letting you get away.)

    • I thought it would be a breeze! And being a bit of a game show slacker, I specifically did NOT try out for teen Jeopardy, because that would take effort. Wheel? Hell, Vanna White’s on it — how hard can it be?

      It was soon after my debacle that my best friend bought me a copy of Vanna Speaks, since I clearly needed her assistance in my life.

    • The timer is brutal. You see your sanity flashing before your eyes as it leaves the room and you can barely remember the alphabet, never mind actual words.

      Had I been born in a different time, I’d have gone out for The Match Game. Hanging out with Brett Somers, Charles Nelson Reilly, Richard Dawson, Betty White, and Gene Rayburn while getting completely trashed? I’M IN!!!!

  3. Why can I not think of any good rejection stories? Lord knows I’ve been rejected enough in my life. Maybe I have successfully just blocked them all with the liberal application of pharmaceuticals and chocolate.

    I concur with Kim’s rejection of rejection’s being bad. I’m grateful for every rejection I got, because it sent me down a road I wouldn’t have gotten to travel otherwise.

    • I actually had my doctor write an open prescription for the liberal application of pharmaceuticals and chocolate. It cures all that ails.

  4. These are HILARIOUS! I particularly like your idea to hang up on yourself. I’ll have to try that one!

    Tawna

    • It was also necessary whenever anyone — male or female, acquaintance or BFF — called during Moonlighting. Didn’t they understand I was with David Addison????

  5. Laughed my head off! Especially loved the bit about hanging up on guys mid-sentence. Elise, when can we get together over dinner and a bottle of wine?! I suspect that hanging out with you would be better than therapy! xoxo

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