Deb Joelle and the last conversations of summer…

cleaning

Labour Day is an adult holiday. The media tries to pass it off as a day of family fun, a time to celebrate the last freedoms of summer, but it’s really all about adults having the day off from work and drinking beer starting at noon. If you’re a kid, it’s impossible to enjoy because there is a giant clock hanging over your head. It doesn’t say, “Tick-tock, tick-tock.” It says, “School-starts! School-starts!”

I was always an odd kid in that I actually loved school and could hardly wait, but Labour Day still had its bad points for me. At least in junior high. Each summer, I had BIG plans and by Labour Day it was quite apparent that none of them had come to fruition. I hadn’t managed to turn such a beautiful golden tan that my freckles had disappeared, my breasts had not suddenly “bloomed”, and my stick-straight hair still refused to feather.

As if taking stock of my physical humiliations wasn’t bad enough, I had another reason to dislike Labour Day. Pretty much every year, the end of the summer boiled down to this final conversation.

Mom: I am not going to tell you again. If you’re room isn’t clean, and I mean clean, by bedtime, you will be grounded for the entire school year.

Me: Fine. Be that way.

Eight hours later, I would emerge, after having spent seven hours and forty-five minutes on the bed reading Trixie Belden, and fifteen minutes shoving everything into my closet. I would find my mom, probably making dinner since she never got a day off from that, and say in a surly voice, “I’m done. Are you happy now that you’ve ruined my last day of vacation?”

Depending on how her day had gone, she’d either glance into my room, sigh, and avoid opening the closet in fear of being crushed by what she knew was behind those doors, or she’d throw them open, glare at me, and then make me me stay in my room for the rest of the night as punishment (which I would invariably spend reading the next book in the TB series).

Eventually, I got smart. I started paying my friend, Darci, five bucks to clean for me. Remember, this was way back in the dark ages of junior high when five dollars could buy an awful lot of Bubblelicious. I would kick back on my bed, reading or chatting, and Darci would methodically sort dirty clothes from clean, cute from “OMG! You didn’t really buy this, did you?” (which I unfortunately had), and books from magazines. She’d make neat piles of art supplies, alphabetize my records, replace my dolls on their shelves (I used them to practice hairstyles – I wasn’t playing with them!), and throw away all my candy wrappers. If we heard my mom coming down the hall, I would jump up and Darci would dive onto the bed. Just as the door opened, I would pick something up like I’d been about to toss it in the garbage or whatever. Mom would survey my progress and then say something like, “It’s nice of Darci to keep you company, but you’d probably get it done faster without her here.” Little did she know.

In the end, my room would sparkle. It seemed like a pretty cheap price to pay for a clean room and a happy mom.

This past Labour Day I looked around my house and wondered if Darci still had the same phone number. I’m pretty sure they have Bubblelicious up here in Canada. Darci, if you’re reading this, you can reach me through my website. But don’t tell my husband, okay? I’ll be on the porch, working on my tan.

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Joelle Anthony

11 thoughts on “Deb Joelle and the last conversations of summer…

  1. I love this story! You can send Darci to New Jersey, after she’s done with your place in Canada …

  2. Damn… I need a Darci. You know if she came to visit she would almost certainly have to fly into Vancouver so she could stay here for a night….

  3. Trixie Belden and Bubblelicious! You’re bringing back good memories for me… Sadly, my closets are probably in the same state yours were back in high school. But isn’t messiness important in fostering creativity?

  4. Oh my gosh, Joelle. What a cute post. I love the seven hours and forty-five minutes vs. the 15 minutes of cleaning. But it IS stressful to have something hanging over your head. Take it from the girl they used to call “Hurricane Katie.” I used to have to literally clear a path in order to coax my parents to come tuck me in. And having a path felt like a step toward clean.

    Really enjoyed this!

  5. ““It’s nice of Darci to keep you company, but you’d probably get it done faster without her here.” ”

    Too funny! Are you sure your mom didn’t know and was pretending not to? Because at least the room got clean… I’ve come to the realization that my mom probably knew a lot more than she let on.

  6. Kristina,
    I don’t think my mum knew…I am pretty sure I told her later and she thought I was crazy!

    Darci is my friend on Facebook and after this, she’s probably either going to start a cleaning business on the side, or go into hiding! We all need her, apparently.

  7. I need friends like Darci!

    Labor day seems a good holiday to me, drinking beer in the sunshine, and at least it has a name unlike “late summer bank holiday” in the UK – so dull!

  8. Having been busy all day (NOT cleaning), I finally managed to get to The Ball and it was worth the wait! What a perfect post, Joelle, one that cost you $5.00 for every time Darci cleaned!!! ; )

  9. Ha ha ha! Love this as my husband still has not figured out I have a cleaning lady come in twice a month. Payback for him asking me when I was going to clean the bathroom one day last winter. And btw…does your mom know you make your own butter??? This mom says that trumps a clean bedroom!

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