Get that Post up STAT! by Deb Jess

Okay, here’s what’s going on: the city in which I live has received EIGHT inches of rain since last weekend (3 inches alone in the last few hours), and 30 city streets and major county and Interstate highways are now closed. There are COUCHES and CARS floating in flooded roads, four tornadoes have touched down in neighboring counties in the last few hours, and while my Internet connection is still viable, I am BOUND AND DETERMINED to get a post up! I have my priorities.

I am known among my friends for having ‘quirky’ taste when it comes to a person’s physical attractiveness. Generally, it boils down to sense of humor. You can have the body and face of a Greek god, but if you can’t make me laugh (which is my personal key to accessing all the other emotions), get back in the corral with the rest of the paste eaters. Which is why I find the following writers/authors … HOT:

Steve Martin. Sensitive, thoughtful, wry, witty…and he shares my maiden surname. Love him!
Paul Feig. If you haven’t read Superstud or Kick Me, you need to BUY THOSE BOOKS NOW. Especially if you were a fan of the sadly short-lived Freaks and Geeks.
Laurie Notaro. Hilarious self-deprecation? Yes, please!
Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. Not only is she capable of making me spew wine onto the keyboard or page, she is also very attractive in the conventional sense.
Erika Schickel. Another essayist I have a major girl crush on.
David Sedaris. SWOON!
Amy Sedaris. Double SWOON!
Jennifer Belle. Sultry good-looks coupled with exceptional, bizarro wit. She’s on my auto-buy list.
Shannon Olson. The girl next door can WRITE. And make me LAUGH.
Garrison Keillor. Yes, you heard it here folks–I think he’s hot in that special, weird way of mine that leaves me slightly sweaty.
Eric Schlosser. Muckraking hottie (met him once at a signing–smart is so delicious!)
Suzanne Finnamore. Writer of brilliant, heartbreaking prose.
Jill A. Davis. Funny, pretty, witty, and wise.
Haven Kimmel. If they made the writer-equivalent of Teen Beat and BOP fold-out posters, she’d be the centerfold every other month, plastered all over my office walls.

Oh, and it must be said that I’ve had a huge, HUGE crush on Sherman Alexie for YEARS. I’ve heard that women send him nude photos and underwear.

And I must wrap my post by saying the other writers with whom I share time on this blog are all simply gorgeous, inside and out: Eileen Cook, Gail Konop-Baker, Lisa Daily, Jenny Gardiner, and Danielle Younge-Ullman.They have made me laugh, they have made me think, they have even made me cry with some of their posts, and that makes them hot in my book.

And now I’m off to see if the window is still leaking…

Deb Jess

The following two tabs change content below.

9 thoughts on “Get that Post up STAT! by Deb Jess

  1. Steve Martin. Yes. Absolutely. I really enjoyed Shopgirl and it made me see the difference between ‘knowing’ an actor from his roles and how much more intimate it is to ‘know’ a writer by reading his work. That book really hit home for me how much we really pour into our writing even if it’s not always conscious. I actually felt a little naughty reading it, like I had discovered the secret life of a celebrity (so secret they made a movie of it).

  2. I’m feeling so hot this week making all these hot lists even in my jammies and tank top and hair in messy up-do… thanks Jess!!!

  3. OOh be sure to keep your water wings on with all that rising water. And hold your laptop with any WIP above your head.

    Sedaris- swoon right back.

  4. Joanne, I know!! His novels make me feel like a voyeur. Have you read his autobiography? It’s excellent!

    Gail, that’s because you ARE hot! 🙂

    Eileen–I know! I was thinking of the things I’d save, and my flash drive with my WIP was tied with the dog. lol!

  5. What a delightful and thoughtful HOT list, Jess, even under the most trying of circumstances. Hope the rain stops, the water subsides and everyone stays safe.

  6. Jess, I love your list and now have some new authors to add to my list. This week has been so much fun in that respect, Now if I could only find some time to read!

    Keep safe and dry and email yourself backups of everything.

  7. WOW… Stay dry, Jess!

    I think it’s supposed to rain here for the next few days, but hasn’t started, yet. Here’s hoping the system you had didn’t swoop east.

    Love your hot list by the way…

  8. Jess,

    The dog can swim. Put your wip in a baggie. 🙂

    (Is it just me, or does that last sentence look a little smutty?)

    Lisa

    PS — Thanks for the mention!

  9. Thanks Danielle! Have fun investigating. 🙂

    Maureen–the sun is FINALLY peeking out right now, but believe it or not, it’s very dark on the horizon … more storms! Ugh!

    Lisa–it DOES look a little smutty! Love it!

Comments are closed.