I want to learn words without Hs, by Deb Lisa

I want to learn words without the letter H.

“Why?” you might ask.

“Well,” I’d tell you, “my H key is stuck on my keyboard, and I have to mash it to get the H to work.”

Or, I could just type with an Irish accent: I ‘ave a ‘eadache.

I never realized just how much I needed the H until I tried to write a column and a blog post without one. I am a writing professional: I know all of the letters are important, however, it seems like you could probably get by for a few days without a Q or a Z. But an H — well, there’s just no getting around that one. It’s the “the” “there” and “that” that screw you up.

Now, if my Q, or the little +/=, or the “fn” key were stuck, it would be no problem. I could probably survive for weeks, maybe years with a little creativity. I’ve worked on a mac since college and I’m not even sure what the “fn” key is for.

But a dysfunctional H — it’s almost tragic.

I could search the dictionary for suitable alternatives, but I just can’t live without Hairy, or Hell on Wheels, or Hangnail or Hallelujah.

And I can’t work without the, this and thee.

Maybe I should just learn the directions to the Apple store, and get the bleeping thing fixed.

Lisa

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Lisa Daily is a real-life TV dating expert on Daytime. She's a syndicated relationships columnist, a popular media guest seen everywhere from MTV to the New York Times, and the author of the bestselling dating advice book, Stop Getting Dumped! : All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. Visit lisa online at www.lisadaily.com

14 thoughts on “I want to learn words without Hs, by Deb Lisa

  1. While you’re at it, see if you can find out what the fn key does.

    Me, I’ve got a snapped off “page arrow down” key. But I’m managing without it just fine.

    Good luck!

  2. Ha! Funny post. I’m with you–I’ve been a Mac girl forever and don’t use those other keys much (if ever). A little primer on all of those extra keys would be useful…Just yesterday my son was on my computer and hit some magic button and made things complete disappear and I had no clue what he did but I told him I wanted them back immediately. (I get a little paranoid about losing important information)…he laughed that knowing laugh that teens do when they’re comfortable in the knowledge that they are imminently smarter than their parents…

  3. I just got a mac this year and it’s a case of true love. However a few years ago I spilled a can of diet coke into my work computer keyboard. In case you are wondering diet coke and technology do not marry well.

  4. Ah, technology. It’s a love/hate relationship, isn’t it? I’m continually amazed (and a little scared) whenever I realize how dependent I am on it, and on dependable Internet availability.

  5. I have a Microsoft Ergonomic keyboard – it slants left and right with a crevasse between the t and y. It’s only a couple of months old. ALL THE INK HAS WORN OFF THE LETTER? In fact, it took me 17 minutes to type and edit this post. I am not a great typist. I am a great deleter. I am returning the keyboard for a new one. And praying the inky letters last.

    God bless as you retrieve your H.

    KS

  6. Thanks everybody — great comments!

    Kim — thank you. I’m with you, I’m a terrible typist. If the letters wore off my keys, I’d be in big trouble.

    I’m pretty speedy as long as I can look at the keys, but if I needed to type a handwritten letter, for instance, it would take me all day.

    When I was in high school, my mother told me not to learn to type. She said if I learned to type, people would ask me to do it– she was right. Right after college, I had a boss who notoriously asked the women employees to fetch coffee and type his memos.

    I was thankful to my mother every time I told him,

    “Sorry, I don’t drink coffee, and I can’t type.” I was the only woman promoted under his watch (not sure if there’s a connection or not, but if I had to venture a guess…)

    Of course the joke’s on me. I’m a writer who can’t type.

    Lisa

  7. You crack me up, Lisa. Thanks for that! Btw, I’m also a lousy typist and my middle daughter (who is an amazing typist!) always says, “How can you be a writer and not know how to type?”

  8. Lisa, I’m on a mac too and love it but lost the lettering on my N about two weeks after I got it. It still bugs me, but of course I have not had it fixed. I’m starting to lose M now too.

    Very funny post!

  9. UPDATE FROM LISA:

    I took a trip to the Apple store today, and the technical problem which was causing my H to stick was….wait for it…a sprinkle. As in, a rainbow sprinkle from a donut.

    When the Apple Genius fished it out, I blushed 7 shades of crimson and mumbled something like, “I have kids..they’re uh..I have kids.”

    Humilation aside, my HHHHHHHH is working just fine.

    Lisa

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