I want to learn words without the letter H.
“Why?” you might ask.
“Well,” I’d tell you, “my H key is stuck on my keyboard, and I have to mash it to get the H to work.”
Or, I could just type with an Irish accent: I ‘ave a ‘eadache.
I never realized just how much I needed the H until I tried to write a column and a blog post without one. I am a writing professional: I know all of the letters are important, however, it seems like you could probably get by for a few days without a Q or a Z. But an H — well, there’s just no getting around that one. It’s the “the” “there” and “that” that screw you up.
Now, if my Q, or the little +/=, or the “fn” key were stuck, it would be no problem. I could probably survive for weeks, maybe years with a little creativity. I’ve worked on a mac since college and I’m not even sure what the “fn” key is for.
But a dysfunctional H — it’s almost tragic.
I could search the dictionary for suitable alternatives, but I just can’t live without Hairy, or Hell on Wheels, or Hangnail or Hallelujah.
And I can’t work without the, this and thee.
Maybe I should just learn the directions to the Apple store, and get the bleeping thing fixed.