I will now describe what happens when I have a sudden onset of writer’s block:
Step 1: It is 1:50pm and I am happily moving through my day running errands, blissfully unaware of the late night that awaits me. As I stroll up to the post office to mail my friend a very very very belated birthday gift, I start wondering what to make for dinner, and what kind of tantrum my son will have during the loathsome meal I am trying to “poison” him with. I go through my mental rolodex of strategies to deal with the impending tantrum-throwing child, including duct taping him to his chair at the dinner table, and giggle at the mental pictures that follow.
Step 2: Upon arrival at my claustrophobic, overpriced, 2-bedroom Manhattan apartment, I roughly remove my new Valentino knockoff handbag from my shoulder, thrust it onto the wide shelf by the hallway window, and complain out loud that it seemed much lighter earlier this morning when I was obviously filled with energy I no longer have at this time. It is 6:45pm as I grab a handful of mixed nuts from the pantry and pour myself an extra-large glass of Pinot Grigio (no judging). My son gets busy with his homework at the kitchen table and I casually glance at the calendar posted on my refrigerator. My pulse quickens as I notice a large red circle around “Wednesday, June 9th.” I take a closer look, read a messy scribbled note, and discover that another blog day has arrived. I obviously missed the weekly Blackberry reminder I set for myself, and I do some immediate mental chastising, wishing I could write blogs months in advance like the other Debs. Panic sets in… “Holy expletive!” I exclaim in horror. I have a blog to write AND I promised my agent a new book proposal by tomorrow morning! I begin to choke on a large cashew nut that has lodged itself in my windpipe. Let the panic-attack begin.
Step 3: The child is finally asleep following a lengthy tantrum (hopefully the neighbors realize he’s just going through a phase). The dishes have been cleaned and gently placed back in their shelves. I managed to shower and reach for my yummy black velour bathrobe. The clock above my fireplace says 9:36pm. Crap! Where did the time go? Yeah, I realize I should have never answered the phone when my mother called at 8 o’clock. Ok, time to sit down and get to business. Which task to get to first? Blog or proposal? I figure I’ll go with the blog and get it done in about 20 minutes. I read this week’s topic. Description? Oh geez. What the heck do I have to say about that????
At last glance it is 11:03 and I’m finally done. I blame my slow writing on a sudden case of writer’s block… but truthfully, I spent an hour playing computer Tetris.
5 Replies to “Writer’s Block, or Tetris Addiction?”
I like the poison your kids comment. My kids are the pickiest eaters in the world (unless it’s candy or fries). If I would have told my folks the dinner stinks, God only knows what would have happened!
My kids think the kitchen is a restaurant.
Great post. I’d write more, but I need to go play computer solitaire…err…do my Deb Post for tomorrow.
Email me the next time you have a glass of Pinot, so we don’t drink alone!
Why is it we save these deadline surprise for the end of the day?
For me its Sudden Onset Iphone Mahjong. Just one game, of course (I’m always so surprised an hour later). Good thing I havent downloaded Tetris.
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