My hobbies are not interesting. Hiking, biking, traveling, cooking, reading…I just fell asleep typing that and now I have drool seeping between the spacebar and the comma.
My pets have cooler hobbies than I do. Here’s evidence:
Blue Cat has a shoe fetish. He indulges this hobby at every opportunity, paying no mind to the style of the shoe or the hygiene of its owner. Monday it was my jewel-encrusted stiletto. Today it’s my husband’s smelly sneaker. If there is a shoe lying anywhere in the house, he will locate and worship it.
Ozzy is a 15-year-old herding mix who is deaf, arthritic, and mostly blind, with a torn ACL and a vestibular disorder. His hobby is holding down the dog bed so it doesn’t levitate. The risk of spontaneous dog bed levitation is high, so it’s good he’s on the job. Isn’t 15 like 105 in dog years? When I’m 105, breathing will be my hobby.
Matt the Cat’s hobby is petty thievery. He raids neighbors’ yards and garages and brings home trophies. Gloves are his favorite (always in pairs) but he has also stolen a mouse pad, a pair of flip-flops, a roll of toilet paper, and 30 hand puppets. Our neighbors hate us. This is Matt with some of his trophies from the last few days.
Bindi is an Australian Kelpie, which is pretty much a herding dog on crack. When she’s not herding all the other pets, she likes to unwind by reading a good book. Here she is enjoying Hillary Duff’s ELIXIR (which was co-authored by our very own Deb Elise!)
Last but not least is Ivy. Ivy is a crazy feral cat who has spent the last 13 years operating under the assumption she is going to be devoured by a coyote lurking somewhere in our house. Her hobby is playing hide-and-seek. She prefers it if there is no seeking involved. This is Ivy enjoying her hobby beneath the guest bed.
Do your pets or children have more interesting hobbies than you do? Please share!
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